Chasing Safety
by TravelingMystery
Summary: Ianto Jones is a young boy who has rarely felt safe. From cancer to Torchwood, is there anyone that can help him feel safe? Rating will go up with later chapters
1. Getting Ready

**Chapter 1**  
"Never you mind" she smiled. Ianto Jones, a young boy of five started sulking. He had never liked to not get his own way. "Come on mum! Tell me what you're doing for my birthday!" Mrs. Jones just laughed and picked up her son. He was a small boy, with dirty blond hair, and bright blue eyes. Mrs. Jones is a larger woman with wavy shoulder-length auburn hair, and bright blue eyes the same color as her son's, and a kind smile that said 'if you hurt my children, I will kill you.' She sets about refilling his cup with juice, and laid him back down in his bed. "Now, Ianto, I want you to stay in bed this time. You're sick, and you need to rest. If you need something, I am more than willing to get it for you." With that, she pressed a gentle kiss to her son's head and started to leave the room. "Wait mum" Ianto cried. "Can you sing please? Mrs. Jones smiled and sat beside her son. His room smelled thickly of ointments, and he had several bottles of medicines in the kitchen. As Mrs. Jones sat, she chose her son's favorite son. The next few minutes were filled with mother and son sitting close together as she stroked her son's beautiful hair, and sang quietly in Welsh. Mrs. Jones had many hopes for her son, but her biggest was that he would get well soon. She hoped this combination of medicines would work, and her precious baby by would beat the blood cancer he had been stricken with. As Ianto drifted off to sleep, his mother quietly left the room, to begin her daily routines of refilling all Ianto's pill containers, cleaning, and checking that her beloved son was taken care of.

The next few weeks passed by in the same usual manor at the Jones house. Mr. Jones left for work early, and came home late. Rhiannon spent her days over at a friend's house, or in her room reading and Mrs. Jones spent every moment that she could sitting next to her son, or holding him. On the day of Ianto's sixth birthday he woke his family up early while grinning. "It's my birthday" he shouted. He mum pulled him close to her, and kissed his cheek before getting up and getting them both dressed. When Ianto came out of his room dressed, his mum turned to him. "Don't forget that I'm taking you to the hospital later. I'm sorry it's today, but it was the only day they could get you in" Ianto nods and sulks. Every time he goes to the hospital, it's the same thing. They draw blood, which he can't stand, and then they tell him that he still has cancer, and if they don't find the right combination of medicine, he'll have to start chemotherapy, and radiation. He sulks through breakfast. This was definitely not how he wanted to spend his sixth birthday.

After breakfast, his mum runs around the house, grabbing books for him, and packing a few snacks before sending Rhiannon to a friend's house for the day. Ianto went to his room and grabbed one of his stuffed animals before looking in the mirror and frowning. "Why did I have to get cancer" he thought again as he did daily. Mrs. Jones comes down the hall looking for him, and stops in the doorway when she sees him. It pains her almost to tears to see her little boy so upset. Mrs. Jones comes in, and picks him up before rubbing his back lightly, and taking him and everything they will need out to the car. "I know you don't like going to the hospital, Ianto, and I'm sorry it has to be on your birthday, but afterwards, we'll go out and get ice cream, ok? If you feel up to it, you can choose where we go for lunch."

Mrs. Jones kissed Ianto's head, and watched as he buckled himself into his car-seat. It wasn't until she was in the driver's seat that she noticed Ianto had tears in his eyes. Ianto was holding his toy dog, and had tears silently running down his face. Ianto never let anyone know how upset he was, and it hurt Mrs. Jones that much more when he actually cried. She goes to the back seat, and pulls him into a hug as she wipes away his tears. Before he can stop it, Ianto is sobbing on his mother's shoulder and she sings quietly to him in Welsh before whispering "You've been feeling so much better. Hope for good news, Ianto." She sits in the back of the car holding her son until he eventually calms down. "It'll be ok, Ianto. I promise. You'll be just fine." Ianto nods against his mum and sniffles. Mrs. Jones hates seeing Ianto so upset, but will do what needs done for her son.

Mrs. Jones gets back into the driver's seat and smiles at her son in the mirror. "Anything you want for lunch, Ianto." Ianto looks up at his mum, and wipes his eyes. "Can we go to Fuddruckers?" Mrs. Jones laughs, and agrees. "You have always liked their burgers. Of course we can. We'll stop there on the way back home, ok?" Ianto nods, and picks up one of his books to read on the way to the hospital. The car trip is mostly silent, each occupied with their own thoughts. Ianto sits there thinking about the tests to come, and fears what he'll be told on his birthday. His mum is thinking about the best way to relieve her son's fears, and thinks about the different treatment options that have been discussed. How will she tell Ianto that he has to start chemotherapy, which he knows will make him sick, or tell him that he has to stay in the hospital, and can't come home today? What if his cancer has gotten worse? Mrs. Jones hopes for the best, but fears the worst. She drives them to the hospital and finds a parking space not too fat from the doors all the while dreading what news she might receive today, on her son's birthday.


	2. Birthday Surprise

**Chapter 2**

When Mrs. Jones looks in the back to see why Ianto hasn't moved, she sees he's fallen asleep with his face pressed against the window. She takes a minute to smile at her son before she carefully unbuckles him, and lifts him into her arms. Mrs. Jones stops to grab his books and toy before grabbing everything else she'll need, and carries Ianto into the hospital. Ianto wakes slightly and looks up to see the white building before hiding his face in his mother's shoulder. "I don't want to go, mum." Mrs. Jones sighs slightly as she and her son step inside the hospital. "I know you don't, but you need to. Ok? The doctor needs to make sure you're ok, and then afterwards, we will go out for lunch. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do, but need done." Ianto nods and rests his head on her shoulder watching the surroundings of the familiar walls.

In the waiting room, Mrs. Jones sets Ianto down to play as she signs him in. As soon as Mrs. Jones is sitting in a chair, Ianto is back in her lap with one of his favorite books, The Pokey Little Puppy. Ianto leans back into his mother's comforting arms as she holds him close, and starts reading. After only two pages, the doctor comes out. "Ianto, are you ready?" Ianto looks up at the lady. She is wearing a long white coat, and her dark hair is tied back into a bun. She has a kind face, but Ianto wants nothing to do with her. Slowly, he nods, and his mum picks him up to carry him into the exam room. The walls of the hospital are all familiar to Ianto. He has been coming here every other month for the past two years. He glances at the pictures on the wall, but keeps his arms wrapped tightly around his mum's neck. Mrs. Jones holds Ianto closer to her as they walk. She could feel her son shaking in her arms, and thought it would break her heart to keep putting him through this. If only she could help him understand more.

When they got to the room, Mrs. Jones sits Ianto down on the bed who glances around the room quickly, before looking over at the kit that he knew contains needles, and blood tubes. His mum reaches up and holds his hand. "You'll be ok, Ianto" she says quietly. The nurse comes over to Ianto. "Hello, Ianto. How are you today?" Ianto looks up at her before glancing at the box again. "I don't want to be here." The nurse smiles down at Ianto compassionately. "I know you don't, and if I didn't have to do this, I wouldn't. I'd much rather not have to cause you any pain or discomfort. Lie back please." Ianto sighs and lays back on the table before the nurse lifts his shirt and lightly presses on his stomach. "Does this hurt, Ianto?" In response, Ianto shakes his head. Next, the nurse lifts one of his legs until the muscle in his calf is just slightly stretched. "What about now?" Again, Ianto shakes his head. The nurse checks this on his other leg, and then has him change into a gown so she can check for any unusual bruising, or discoloration that could be pointing to his cancer getting worse.

Lastly, after is once again in his normal clothes, the nurse washes her hands, and puts on a pair of new gloves before turning to Ianto's mum. "If he would be more comfortable with you holding him, you can." Before Mrs. Jones can answer, there is an almost inaudible "Please mum?" Mrs. Jones looks down at her son and kisses his head. "I already planned on it, Love. She sits on the table and moves Ianto to her lap where she wraps one arm around his chest tightly to keep him there, and her other arm moves to hold his arm out, and steady. The nurse comes over and hands him a small stress ball to squeeze as she ties on the tourniquet which already has Ianto biting his lip in pain. "It hurts mum" The nurse looks away as she starts getting the needles ready, and sets out what she'll need to stop the bleeding. "I know, Ianto. I'm sorry. It's almost over."

Ianto watches the nurse, and a look of terror crosses his face as she comes closer to him. "I'm sorry Ianto. I'll be as quick as I can, ok? Are you ready?" Her soothing voice does little to calm Ianto's nerves as he nods slightly. The nurse places an extra hand on his arm as she carefully slides the needle in after cleaning his skin. Ianto instantly is in tears and pressing his face into his mum's neck as he cries out in pain. "Almost done, sweetie" the nurse tells him as she switches to the second vial. When at last the third vial is full, she slides the needle put, and bandages Ianto's arm before handing him a lollipop. "It's over. You did very well today." Ianto sniffles and wipes away his tears as him mum grabs a tissue. The nurse leaves to run the blood through one of the machines, and there's nothing left to do but wait until the results are back.

Ianto is sat on his mum's lap cuddling close to her when the nurse knocks on the door. "Mrs. Jones, would you be willing to cover Ianto's eyes and close yours please?" A hint of a smile is detectable through her voice. Mrs. Jones covers Ianto's eyes, and closes her own. "Ok, our eyes are closed." The nurse opens the door, and comes inside. There is the sound of her setting something down, and then she says "Ok. You can open your eyes now!" When they open their eyes, they see the nurse standing beside a good sized basket of candies, stickers, a puzzle book, and even a new stuffed toy gorilla. She is also holding a small black shirt that looks to be Ianto's size that says "I am cancer free" on it. Mrs. Jones looks between the shirt and the basket. "Please tell me you aren't joking?" Ianto looks around confused unable to understand fully what's going on. The nurse shakes her head and grins. "There were no more traces of the cancer. Ianto's jaw drops as he finally understands, and his mum hugs him tightly while crying and rocks him. The nurse smiles softly and sets the shirt down before saying "We'd like to see him back in about four months just so we can make sure it doesn't come back, but as of right now, Ianto no longer has cancer.


	3. Celebrating

**Chapter 3**

Ianto slips the new shirt over his other shirt, and doesn't stop grinning while his mum makes him a new appointment. After they leave the hospital, they drive to the restaurant, and Ianto changes into his new shirt in the car. After he's proudly wearing his new shirt, they go into the restaurant where Ianto orders a cheeseburger. The lady behind the counter smiles at him. "New shirt?" she asks kindly. Ianto nods. "I just got it!" Mrs. Jones smiles and rests a hand on his shoulder. "He's had Leukemia for the past two years. We just found out that it's gone, and we're here to celebrate." One of the workers in the back smiles "Congratulations little man. How old are you?" Ianto grins up at him. "Today's my sixth birthday and my names Ianto, not 'little man!'" Mrs. Jones smiles down at into as she places her name down for the order. She watches one of the smiling employees dip into the manager's office, and could have sworn she heard her son's name mentioned but she doesn't think anything of it as she and Ianto go to sit down, and wait for their food to come.

Not five minutes have passed when they hear one of the workers over the loud speaker "Attention everyone, will Ianto Jones please come up to the counter?" Ianto looks at his mom curiously, but she nods him towards the counter not knowing any more than he does what's going on. Ianto gets up, and slowly walks to the counter which he is just barely tall enough to be seen behind. The worker who went in to talk with the manager comes out and smiles at him before picking him up, and standing him on one of the empty tables. She takes the microphone and smiles before continuing. "Everyone, this is Ianto Jones. He is six years old today and today also found out that he beat cancer." The restaurant explodes into cheering and Ianto smiles.

The female worker continues "Today is a very happy day for the Jones's, and we here at Fuddruckers would like to help Ianto celebrate today. On the count of three, I want everyone to help sing for him!" A light blush creeps across Ianto's face as the whole restaurant starts to sing for him. When the song has almost ended, Ianto sees a small glowing light, and turns to see one of the male workers carrying a piece of chocolate cake with a single candle in it, and an ice cream Sunday towards him. When the song ends, the male employee holds the cake for Ianto to blow out the candle, and then the female employee helps him off of the table before carrying his treats over to his mum who is smiling at him. Ianto launches himself into her arms and hugs her tightly.

When Mrs. Jones's name is called and she goes to get their lunch, the manager comes out and hands her a small envelope before telling her that their meal is being covered in celebration of Ianto, and he returns the cost of their meals to her. Mrs. Jones carries the food over to the table, and she hands Ianto his food. "I'm so proud of you. You did so well today there." While Ianto eats a french-fry he looks up at his mom and asks "When I go back, will they have to take more blood?" Mrs. Jones looks sadly at her son. "Yes, they will. They need to make sure your cancer is still gone, and that it doesn't come back. Don't think about that now though. We're supposed to be celebrating. Today's your birthday, and your cancer is gone. You got embarrassed in front of a whole restaurant." Mrs. Jones stops and grins at Ianto who giggles. "Today's a good day, Ianto. I'm so happy for you. I do love you, and I hate having to put you through any pain. I wouldn't if it wasn't necessary." Ianto looks up at her. "I know mom. It's ok. I love you too." They finish their lunches, and then leave to go back home, and tell Ianto's father. The way home is filled with a comfortable silence as Ianto looks at one of his books, and Mrs. Jones drives them home.

Once they get in Mrs. Jones helps Ianto bring everything in, he goes running to Rhiannon's room before pounding on the door "Rhi, Come look at my new shirt!" Ianto can hear a sigh before Rhiannon starts moving "Fine." When she opens her door, she looks down to see Ianto's new shirt and she then drops to the ground and hugs him tightly "Really?" Ianto nods and hugs his sister back. "Mum and I went out to eat, and they gave me ice cream and cake, and stood me on a table while everyone sang!" Rhiannon can't help but chuckle at her younger brother's great mood. "It sounds like you had a good birthday then!" Ianto nods and holds his sister tighter. "I love you Rhi." Rhiannon chuckles softly and kisses Ianto's head. I love you too, Yan." Ianto smiles more at the use of her baby name for him.

Neither is aware of their mother coming in until she sits beside her children and hugs them both and kisses their cheeks. Both children smile at their mum before cuddling close to her. "I'm going to be making Ianto's cake soon. Rhiannon, I'm sorry you didn't get to come with us for lunch." Rhiannon smiles and waves her mum off. "It's not important. I'm just glad my baby brother is ok" she says while nudging Ianto which causes him to sulk. "I'm not a baby, Rhi!" "You are too, you'll always be my little baby brother" Rhiannon exclaims as she starts tickling Ianto causing him to squirm and giggle. As her children play, Mrs. Jones pipes up. "Not too rough, you two. He did just eat." As he children settle down, Mrs. Jones turns to Rhiannon. "I'll take you out on Saturday when your dad is here to watch Ianto. If he gets a special day out, you should too." Rhiannon looks up at her mum before speaking. "Mum, you found out his cancer is gone. That's a special occasion, and I understand. It's fine. I'm just glad he's ok. I really don't care that much. I'm not jealous or anything." Rhiannon pulls Ianto to her lap and holds him as Mrs. Jones wraps her arms around both of her children and kisses their cheeks. "I love you both very much. I couldn't have asked for better children, and even if I could have, I wouldn't trade either of you for anything. You both mean the world to me, and I know that you each are destined for something special, especially you, Ianto. You're a very special little boy, and you have a great life ahead of you."

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**Note: **In case anyone is wondering, Fuddruckers is just a burger restaurant not too far from where I live that is known for having really really good food.


	4. On The Road Again

**Chapter 4**

The next morning, Ianto is sitting on the couch when his father comes home. "Tad" Ianto screams when he sees his father and launches himself into his arms. "Ianto" Mr. Jones laughs as he swings his son into his muscular arms and holds him. Ianto nuzzles close and starts giggling when his father's beard tickles him. "Tad, you're all itchy!" "Oh am I" Mr. Jones asks with a smirk before tickling his son with his beard which causes Ianto to start laughing loudly as he tries to get away. Chuckling, Mr. Jones stops and holds his son protectively. "So, your mum told me you had some news you wanted to tell me?" Ianto nods. "My cancer's gone!" Mr. Jones grins. "That's amazing. I'm so happy for you." He kisses his son on the head and then asks "Did you do anything special yesterday for your birthday?" Ianto stops. "We went to the hospital, and then mum and I went to Fuddruckers. "That sounds like fun. You know what else, Ianto? I have the day off today. If you and Rhiannon agree on something you want to do, we'll celebrate your birthday today, ok? Why don't you go ask her while I talk to your mum?" "Alright, Tad" Mr. Jones sets down his son, and Ianto goes running to Rhiannon's room.

"Rhi, are you up" Ianto calls at her door. In response he hears a sleepy "I am now. Come on in Yan." Ianto walks into his sister's room to see her sitting up in bed and rubbing her eyes. Her dark hair falling over her shoulders and the right side of her face is pink from where she was sleeping with it against the pillow. When she opens her eyes, and sees her little brother, she opens her arms to him, and Ianto immediately climbs onto her bed, and into his sister's lap. "What's going on, Yan?" Ianto looks up at her and smiles. "Tad says if we can agree on something to do, we can do it today for my birthday! What do you want to do, Rhi?" Holding her little brother close to her, Rhi responds with "I don't know. It's your birthday celebration. Why do you want me to choose?" Ianto laughs at her. "Just choose something, Rhi!" Rhiannon can't help but laugh at her little brother's good mood. "Well, there's that amusement park we've both been saying we want to go to. Want to see if tad will take us there?" Ianto grins. "Yes! Rhiannon laughs. Alright, I'm going to get dressed. I suggest you wear a tee-shirt and shorts. It's going to be hot today." Rhiannon kisses Ianto's head as she sets him down. "Now scoot so I can get dressed too." Ianto runs out of the room to go find his tad.

When Ianto runs into the kitchen, his father catches him and flips him in the air before bringing him to his own chest which causes Ianto to laugh as he clings tightly to his father so he doesn't fall. "Did you and Rhiannon decide on something already?" Ianto nods "Can we go to the amusement park?" Mr. Jones just laughs. "I should have known that is what you would choose. Of course we can, Ianto." Ianto smiles as he climbs down to go get dressed. When Ianto is out of the room, Mr. Jones walks over to Mrs. Jones and pulls her to him and rubs her back lightly. Mrs. Jones smiles and rests her head on her husband's shoulder. "It's so nice to see him happy. I've missed this." Mr. Jones nods in agreement. "He's like a new child. He looks a lot healthier too." Mr. Jones steps back, and takes his wife's hands. Mrs. Jones laughs, but allows her husband the silly mood as they are all celebrating for Ianto.

When the children come out of their bedrooms, Mr. and Mrs. Jones have just finished dancing, and Mr. Jones catches Mrs. Jones around the waist, pulls her close, and kisses her. They are greeted from a chorus of "EWWW" from both of their children causing them to almost fall over in their laughter. "Are you both ready to go?" Rhiannon nods and Ianto sits to start tying his shoes. "Yup, I'm ready." "Um… Yan" Ianto looks up at his sister. "Yeah" Rhiannon starts laughing. "Your shoes are on the wrong feet again." Knowing that had always been a problem for Ianto, she sits down to help him fix his shoes before standing, and helping him up. "There you go." Mr. and Mrs. Jones smile down at their children. "Rhiannon, would you grab everyone a water bottle please. Ianto, will you grab some crackers?" Both of the children move to follow their parent's requests while Mrs. Jones gathers a project to work on, and grabbing some of her children's favorite books before packing the car, and helping Ianto in the car. As soon as he was in, Ianto cried out. "Wait! I have to go to the bathroom." His father hopped out of the car to unlock the house and waits for him. As soon as Ianto is back in the car, and the house is locked Mr. Jones drives them to the amusement park.

On the way there, Ianto is happily showing Rhiannon his toy gorilla and telling her about yesterday at the hospital. They're all glad that Ianto is happy, but they can tell that it's unnerving Rhiannon who can't tolerate hospitals. Just when Mrs. Jones is about to speak up, Rhiannon picks up one of Ianto's books "Hey Yan, want me to read you Captain Underpants?" Ianto grins. "Ok" Mrs. Jones sits back in her seat, and smiles at her children. She silently thanks whatever Gods may be listening that it's as easy to redirect her son as it is. She listens to Rhiannon reading, and she thinks once again how glad she is that her children have such an incredible and inseparable bond. Rhiannon is only about a chapter into the book when Ianto screams out "We're here! We're here!" Everyone looks out the window and grins as their senses are hit by the screams of children on rides, and the smell of hot popcorn and butter along with flashing lights.


	5. The Park

**Chapter 5**  
As everyone jumps out of the car, Mrs. Jones hands each of her children a swim suite. "I've heard they have a water park here. Go ahead and put your swim suites on under your clothes, and that way if there is, you're ready." The children grin, and then one at a time change into their swim suites in the car thanks to the tinted windows. When both children are don changing, Mr. Jones locks the car and takes one hand from each of his children in his strong hands. "Were too first?" Ianto looks around before seeing a roller coaster. "Can we go on there, Tad?" Mr. Jones looks up at the roller coaster. "Are you sure you want to go on that?" Ianto nods and Rhiannon speaks up "I'll go with him." Ianto smiles gratefully to his sister and the parents nod the children towards the coaster.

When Ianto and Rhiannon are in line for the Roller Coaster, one of the workers comes up to Ianto. "I need you to stand by this chart" she says as she points to a sign indicating how tall someone must be to ride the roller coaster. Ianto moves to the chart, and stands against it as straight as he can. Looking at his height, the worker responds with "Well, you're tall enough to ride, but we recommend you have someone go with you." Rhiannon raises her hand slightly. "I'm taking him." Looking over at Rhiannon, the employee nods and lets Ianto go back in line. When Ianto gets to Rhiannon, he hugs her. "Thank you for taking me, Rhi." "It's no problem, Yan. I love spending time with you." She leans down and hugs him and kisses his head. All of a sudden, there is a bright flash causing both children to jump, and spin to see their dad smiling and holding a camera "Got it!"

The children laugh and hide their faces from their parents until thy notice that the line has moved. When they get to the front of the line, they are lead to the front car on the roller coaster, and Rhiannon helps Ianto in, and buckles them before wrapping an arm around him. "It'll be ok, Yan" she says as she notices her little brother is shaking with nerves. Ianto nods, and leans in closer to Rhiannon as the car starts to move. Rhiannon can feel Ianto shaking as the ride starts. "I'm scared, Rhi." "It'll be Ok, Yan, I promise. I'm right here." Looking out, Ianto can see the first drop in the rollercoaster. As the car starts moving down, he screams loudly and presses his face into Rhiannon's side. Rhiannon wraps her arms around him and holds him protectively until the first drop is over. After that, Ianto hesitantly looks out and enjoys the rest of the ride screaming loudly on the drops, and staying close to Rhiannon.

As the children leave the ride, Ianto runs to his mum and hugs her tightly. "Did you have fun, Ianto? " He nods and Mrs. Jones can feel that he's still shaking lightly from the ride. "What do you want to do now?" Rhiannon looks over at Ianto. "Want to go to the water park?" Ianto nods, and the family stops by the car to drop off the children's clothes so they are in their swim suites. Rhiannon takes Ianto's hand, and he gasps when he sees the racing slide. "Can we do that, Rhi?" "You wanna race?" Ianto nods causing Rhiannon to chuckle. "Ok, but I'll win!" As Rhiannon starts running towards the inner tubes, Ianto calls after her "You will not, Rhi! Wait up. You're cheating!"

When the children arrive at the slides, they each run and grab an inner tube before going to the staircase and walking up where one of the employees helped them each into one of the slides for them to race. As soon as they were released, they pushed off and went flying down the water slide, Rhiannon beating Ianto. As she hopped off of the tube into the water, she turns to watch Ianto just in time to see him slip at the bottom of the slide, and fall hitting his head on the slide and falling under the water.

"Ianto" She screams and swims towards him. One of the life guards jumps into the water to get him as another starts clearing back everyone. When the life guard lifts Ianto, Rhiannon can see that he is crying, and there was blood on him. She runs to get her parents, and the life guard carefully lays Ianto down on the warm cement of the pool side. When Rhiannon brings her parents over, they are allowed through the crowd to Ianto where a medic is looking at him. The medic has helped Ianto sit up, and cleaned the blood from a small cut on his head. When the other members of Ianto's family arrive, she is looking at his arm. When she sees his parents, she turns to them. "It looks like he sprained his wrist. I want to bandage it, but he'll be just fine." She turns down to Ianto. "Can you tell me which hand you normally use?" Ianto nods slightly towards his injured arm. "My right arm." The nurse looks through her box before pulling out a bandage wrap and wrapping Ianto's wrist for him and then places his arm in a child size sling. "The sling is only to help keep him from moving it so he doesn't make it worse. Have him keep his arm wrapped and in the sling for a week. Have you eaten lunch yet?" Mrs. Jones speaks up. "No, we were going to eat lunch after playing here." The nurse pulls out a coupon for £5 off of the price of their meal. "I'm really sorry you got hurt, Ianto." Ianto smiled at her. "I feel better now. Thank you for fixing my arm." The medic smiles down at him. "You're more than welcome." He smiles up at her before they leave to go get lunch.

The Jones's decide to stop at a little restaurant there at the park to use the coupon. They order their lunch and sit at a nearby table to start eating. Ianto is eating a hot dog with his left hand that Rhiannon cut for him so he can use a fork. The family talks happily and laughs together. After lunch, Mrs. Jones helps Ianto into his seat and buckles him. "Look at my cool sling, Rhi! It has dinosaurs on it!" Rhiannon chuckles "That it does, Yan. Want me to keep reading?" Ianto nods, so Rhiannon picks up the book and continues reading to him. It's not until they're almost home that Rhiannon notices that Ianto is sound asleep. When they pull up to the house, Rhiannon lifts Ianto making sure to not hit his arm as she carries him into the house and lays him in his bed. She presses a soft kiss to his head and whispers "I love you Yan." Ianto smiles in his sleep, and Rhiannon takes a minute to reflect on just how cute her little brother is, and how at peace he looks in his sleep. Little did anyone in the Jones family know that the happy peaceful setting they had fallen into wouldn't last much longer at all.


	6. The funeral

***chapter contains character death***

Close to two years after they went to the park, Mrs. Jones suddenly passed away in an accident. Ianto was eight, and Rhiannon had just turned thirteen. At the funeral, the three remaining Jones's are dressed in their best clothes. As they look into the casket, Ianto starts crying really hard. "I'm going to be sick, Rhi" Ianto whimpers. Rhiannon takes his hand and rushes him to the bathroom where she sits outside and waits for him to come back. When he comes to her, she reaches for his hand. "Feel any better?" Ianto nods and Rhiannon dips into the girl's bathroom to get a damp towel for his neck "Do you want to go back and see mum" Rhiannon asks. Ianto quickly shakes his head and starts crying again. Rhiannon sits on a bench that is in the main lobby room, and pulls Ianto to her lap. Ianto buries his face into Rhi's neck as he cries. While rubbing his back, Rhiannon asks quietly "Y Deryn Pur?" Ianto sniffles and nods as he wraps his arms tighter around Rhiannon. She rocks him lightly as she starts singing quietly

"Y deryn pur â'r adain las  
Bydd i mi'n was dibrydar  
O! brysur brysia at y ferch  
Lle rhois i'm serch yn gynnar  
Dos di ati, dywed wrthi  
Mod i'n wylo'r dwr yn heli  
Mod i'n irad am ei gwelad  
Ac o'i chariad yn ffaelu â cherddad, O!  
Duw faddeuo'r hardd ei llun  
Am boeni dyn mor galad!

Pan o'wn yn hoenus iawn fy hwyl  
Ddiwrnod gwyl yn gwylio  
Canfyddwn fenyw lana' rioed  
Ar ysgafn droed yn rhodio.  
Pan y'i gwelais syth mi sefais  
Yn fy nghalon mi feddyliais  
Wele ddynes lana'r deyrnas  
A'i gwên yn harddu'r oll o'i chwmpas  
Ni fynnwn gredu un dyn byw  
Nad oedd hi ryw angyles!"

When the song is over, Mr. Jones comes over to find them. "Come on. We have to go now." As the children stand up, Mr. Jones quickly rushes them out of the building.

The ride home is silent, and tense. Ianto has started crying again silently, so when they arrive home, Rhiannon leads him to her room. "It'll be ok, Yan. It'll be a bit different, but we still have Tad, and mum will never really leave us." Ianto sits on bed beside Rhiannon before kicking off his shoes, and lying down. Knowing her brother needs her more than anything at the moment; she lies beside him and pulls him into her arms. Ianto curls into her arms and is quickly asleep as she holds him. Ianto sleeps restlessly, and is soon turning in his sleep. Rhiannon rests a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Yan, wake up for me. It's ok." Rhiannon speaks calmly trying to lure her brother from his sleep. Mr. Jones comes in and sees his children lying on the bed. "What are you doing" he asks loudly. Ianto jumps and instantly wakes up. Mr. Jones sighs. "You need to stay awake now, or you won't sleep tonight. I'm going to go. I'll be back later. Rhiannon, you'll need to make him lunch." With that, Mr. Jones leaves his children alone.

"Come on, Yan. You need to eat some lunch" Rhiannon says as she helps Ianto up. "What do you want for lunch?" Ianto shrugs "I'm not hungry, Rhi." "I know you're not, but you still need to eat. I'll make you a sandwich, and you can just eat what you want of it, ok?" Ianto nods, so Rhiannon makes each of them a sandwich. She cuts Ianto's into triangles, and pours him a glass of milk, and places some crisps on his plate. "Eat only what you want, Yan. Ok?" Ianto nods and picks up one of the triangles before he begins eating his sandwich. He glances over at Rhiannon to see that she isn't really eating either.

Ianto eats half of his sandwich and drinks his milk before turning back to Rhiannon. "I'm done." Rhiannon nods and takes care of the dishes before turning to Ianto. "What do you want to do, Yan?" He looks up at her. "Can we watch a movie?" Rhiannon shakes her head while smiling. "Aliens, again?" Ianto nods. "Alright, go set it up. I don't know why you like alien movies so much though. Aliens aren't real." Ianto frowns at her. "They are too! One day, I'm going to help catch aliens." He comes and sits beside Rhiannon. "Alright Yan, you have fun with that."

When Mr. Jones comes in later that evening smelling strongly of alcohol, he finds his children curled together doing a puzzle quietly. "Why are you still up" he slurs. Go to bed. Go to sleep. I need some time alone." Mr. Jones goes into his room and closes the door. As Ianto and Rhiannon start putting the puzzle away, they can hear that their father has started crying. "What do we do, Rhi?" "I think it'd be best to give him some time to cool off. It's late. We should all be asleep. Do you want to sleep in my room?" Ianto nods, so after each child stops by their room to get into their pajamas, they meet in the hall to go brush their teeth before going to Rhiannon's room where she hands Ianto one of his toys that she had grabbed from his room. As he lies down on Rhiannon's bed, she lies next to him and pulls him into her arms. "I do love you, Yan." Ianto cuddles as close to his sister as he can. "I miss mum." Rhiannon strokes his hair. "I miss her too. Go to sleep, and see her in your dreams, ok? She'll never leave you." Rhiannon kisses his head and holds him comfortingly as Ianto drifts off to sleep. Rhiannon lies awake wondering what the days to come will bring for her and her brother. They had no way to know that the very next day was when the abuse would start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Translations~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Y Deryn Pur: The Gentle Dove.

Song:  
O gentle dove with wings so blue  
Fly quickly to my lady  
And take to her a message true  
While in her garden shady  
Go to her and say I love her  
And am trying to discover  
How to meet her, fondly greet her  
But if my love should fail to please her  
May God forgive her beautiful face  
I know that I must leave her.

With heart so gay one happy day  
I walked with step so sprightly  
The loveliest girl I'd ever seen  
Came tripping there so lightly  
On her beauty so amazing  
I could only stand there gazing  
Of the fairest, she the rarest  
Her smile make all around her shining  
She was an angel to my eyes  
And for her love I'm pining.


	7. Back Home

***rating went up. Warning for child abuse in this chapter***

Rhiannon and Ianto are woken up the next morning by their father yelling at them. "Ianto, clean the house. I'm going to the bar." Ianto jumps awake and clings onto Rhiannon. "Mum" He asks sleepily. Rhiannon shakes her head and holds Ianto. "No Yan, it's me." Ianto looks at her. "When did I get here?" He is momentarily confused until he shakes the sleep from his eyes. "Oh… I remember." Ianto sighs and wipes a stray tear away before standing up. "What all does Tad want me to do?" Rhiannon hugs him. "I think if I do the dishes, and you straighten the living room a little, that should be good. Ok? We can watch a movie when we're done." Ianto smiles lightly and goes to the living room where he starts picking up any recycling he finds, and straightens the couch cushions. Rhiannon goes to the kitchen at the same time, and starts washing the dishes before she washes the counters, and cleans the dining room.

"Done with the living room, Yan?" "Yeah, I just finished" Ianto calls as he puts the pillow on the couch. Rhiannon comes out and nods approvingly. "It looks good, Yan. Thank you for helping me. What do you want to watch?" Ianto shrugs. "Something with Aliens, perhaps" Ianto shakes his head. "I had nightmares from the movie." Rhiannon looks at the collection "Alright, no aliens then. What should we watch then?" Ianto goes over to the shelf to look at the movies in their collection. "What about this one," he asks as he pulls it off the shelf. Rhiannon looks at what he chose. "Cats, are you sure you want to watch a musical, Yan?" Ianto nods, so Rhiannon starts the movie and sits on the couch. Ianto curls into her side as the movie starts.

Part way through the movie, Mr. Jones comes in and starts yelling at them. "What the hell are you doing watching TV? I thought I told you to clean the house!" Rhiannon wraps an arm around Ianto protectively. "We did, Tad. I did the dishes, and Ianto did the living room." He glances around quickly. "Not good enough. Why are you watching this filth? Do you want to turn him bender?" Mr. Jones turns off the movie and sends Rhiannon to her room before calling Ianto into the living room.

When Ianto walked in, he knew something was wrong with his Tad. Mr. Jones smelled strongly of alcohol and was swaying slightly. "What were you doing watching that, Ianto? Are you queer now?" Ianto shakes his head. "Why were you watching that then?" Ianto looks up scared. "They're just dressed as cats, and talking about being cats." Mr. Jones pinches the bridge of his nose. "Rhiannon, I want you to go to a friend's house. I have to talk to Ianto in private." Rhiannon nods and quickly calls one of her friends seeing if she can come over for a while. Rhiannon quickly gathers her things before hugging Ianto, calling to Tad "I'll be home at 22:30" and leaving the house not wanting to be home for any more of the yelling she was sure to come.

After Rhiannon leaves, Mr. Jones turns back to Ianto before crouching on the floor his red face level with Ianto's and his breath reeking of alcohol. "Why were you watching a movie instead of clean the house like I told you too?" Ianto looks at his Tad terrified. "We did, Tad! I did the living room, and Rhi did the dishes and kitchen." The next thing Ianto knows, there is a searing pain in his cheek that brings tears to his eye. He winces slightly as he gingerly feels his cheek, and realizes that Tad had just hit him. "Tad," Ianto asks quietly. Mr. Jones shakes his head, and glares. "You like getting it up the arse, Ianto?" Ianto quickly shakes his head. "No, Tad! They're just dressed as cats." Mr. Jones stands up and scoffs. "You're an embarrassment to the family, Ianto. I want you to go into my room, and wait for me there." Ianto nods slowly before following his Tad's request. When Ianto gets to his Tad's room, he looks around, unsure of what will happen, or where he should go. Ianto hears his Tad out in the rest of the house, and eventually, Ianto settles himself with sitting by the wall.

His Tad doesn't come into the bedroom for half an hour, by which point Ianto is nervous, and shaking. His thoughts seem to be racing. 'Is he going to hit me again? Why did he hit me? What can I do to keep him calm? Why did he send Rhi away, and not me? What does he want to talk about?" Mr. Jones closes and locks the bedroom door. "I'm very angry with you, Ianto. Do you know why?" Ianto looks up at his Tad. "Because I watched a movie you don't like?" Mr. Jones nods. "It'll turn you gay, and I won't allow that. So you know what happens to gay boys, Ianto?" Ianto shakes his head, and starts looking around the room for a way out. Tad's evil smile is filled with promises of pain to come, and it's making Ianto scared. Tad reaches out and places a hand on Ianto's shoulder. "I'm going to show you what happens to gay boys, and what will happen to you if you become gay."

Ianto feels as if every bit of his is on fire as he screams out in pain. He keeps screaming louder and louder, hoping the neighbors hear, hoping Rhiannon hears, hoping she comes home to stop Tad. He hopes that someone hears, or comes to the door. Anything to stop the burning that is so intense he feels as if he is about to catch on fire. Ianto thinks that would almost be less painful than this. Ianto hopes that he just bursts into flames and it stops this slow burn that has engulfed his entire body. Maybe someone will hear soon and be able to stop this seemingly endless pain. Ianto starts choking on the tears streaming down his face, and winces as he's suddenly flooded with a cool, sticky sensation. Ianto wipes the tears from his eyes, and wishes someone had heard his screams and cries for help. A strong hand places itself on Ianto's back to keep him from getting up as a warm rag is wiped quickly between his cheeks and removes most of the sticky sensation, but he can still feel it inside of him.

Ianto flinches when something is thrown at him, but relaxes when he sees that it's just his pajamas. Ianto gets dressed quickly and goes to leave the room before Tad stops him. "Wait here for me." Ianto sits on the bed shaking. He can hear the splashing of water in the sink, and realizes Tad is washing the rag he used to clean Ianto. Tad comes back only a few minutes later when Ianto isn't looking. He comes right behind Ianto and wraps one arm around his chest and covers his mouth with the same hand. Ianto's eyes widen as he tries to get away. Mr. Jones holds him tighter, and then Ianto can feel the sharp bight of serrated metal against his throat. Ianto's eyes widen even more as he stops struggling and allows himself to be pulled back towards his father's chest. Mr. Jones leans down and growls in his ear. "If you tell anyone what happens," he says as he slowly pulls the knife across Ianto's throat hard enough to tug the skin and let it be felt, but not actually cut. "One simple flip of my wrist and you're dead! Understand?" Ianto makes a muffled noise, which Mr. Jones seems to take as confirmation to what he said. "Good boy. Now go to bed. I can't stand to look at you anymore. Disgusting little queer" he spits as Ianto runs out of the room.

Ianto goes quickly to his bedroom where he hides under the covers and checks the time. It's only 21:25. There's still over an hour before Rhiannon should be home. Ianto lets his eyes close as he tries to ignore the pain. Ianto falls asleep facing the wall while holding onto one of his toys to his chest. He's woken up when his door slowly opens. "Yan, is everything alright?" Ianto squints at the light. "Is that you Rhi?" His door opens wider and Rhiannon walks in. "I was just coming to say good night, and make sure Tad didn't scare you too…. Yan you're bleeding!" Ianto jumps and looks up at Rhiannon alarmed before rolling over so she can't see the blood on the back of his trousers. "Yan, what happened?" Ianto takes a breath to calm his breathing as he thinks back to the knife. "I was sitting on Tad's bed. He was yelling, and when I tried to get off his bed, I fell and landed on the metal frame. I guess I cut myself a little." Rhiannon sighs and throws him a new pair of sleep trousers. "Go change into those, make sure you've stopped bleeding, and hand me those." Rhiannon nods to the pair he's currently wearing. "I'll get the blood out for you."

Ianto goes to the bathroom and changes his trousers before handing the old ones to Rhiannon. "Thank you Rhi." She just shrugs. "Be more careful, yeah?" Ianto nods and hugs her. "I love you, Rhi." She hugs him back. "Love you too, Yan. I'll clean these, and then go to bed. Have a good sleep." Ianto goes to lay down. When Rhiannon is cleaning his trousers, she can't that help but think that Ianto wasn't truthful, but Ianto always tells the truth. It must have just been a coincidence that the blood landed where it did on his trousers. After she hangs them up to dry, Rhiannon realizes how tired she is and goes to lay down forgetting about the pain in Ianto's eyes when he sat on his bed to hide his trousers, and the blood.


	8. The Teacher

This went on for years. Every day Ianto came home, when Rhiannon wasn't there, he would be beaten, or forced into his father's bedroom for Mr. Jones's own pleasure. If Rhiannon is home, then Mr. Jones just yells at them, and frequently will set time limits on chores for Ianto that are almost impossible to meet. If he doesn't make the time limit, Mr. Jones punishes him. Ianto never knew what to expect as a punishment. Sometimes he would he hit, or kicked. Other times he'd have something thrown at him, once his father had even burned his hand on the stove. The most common punishments however would be either Ianto not being allowed to eat that day, or he would have to sleep on the floor. Ianto learned quickly how to do his chores in the time limit he had to avoid being punished. Other times, Mr. Jones would just take his anger out on his son because he could, and Ianto was there.

When Rhiannon is 16, she runs away from home to live with her Boyfriend, Johnny. Mr. Jones blames Ianto, and the abuse gets worse. Mr. Jones takes Ianto to the park one day to get rid of some of his energy. As Ianto is running on the play set, he slides down the slide. As he comes out, Mr. Jones catches his leg with his own. He jumps forward, and lands on Ianto's leg with a sickening 'crack' that has Ianto in tears. Mr. Jones drops to the ground "Ianto! I'm so sorry. Let me look." Mr. Jones looks down at Ianto's leg. "I think it's broken. I'm so sorry!" Mr. Jones continues to act as an overly concerned parent. A few other parents have come over to see what all the fuss is about. When they see Ianto's leg, one mother calls an ambulance for them. As Ianto wipes his eyes and looks up at his father questioning, pleading for his father to reassure him this was an accident. When Ianto sees Mr. Jones shake his head just slightly enough for the other parents to catch it, Ianto's heart sinks. Ianto is taken to the hospital where he is given some pain medicine, and then they put his leg in a cast and give him crutches before telling him to be careful next time, and wish him a good day.

Ianto learns how to hide the bruises at school, but one day, a teacher happened to notice some marks on his arm as she was passing out their graded papers. When he gets up to the front of the room, the bell rings, but she puts up a hand to stop the class. "Ianto Jones, would you stay after please? The rest of you are dismissed." The class leaves as Ianto quietly gathers his things and goes to the front of the room as Mrs. Hunt closes the door. She was a short woman, with a loud voice, but kind words. Ianto comes up to her desk "Yes, ma'am?" Mrs. Hunt looks up at him. "How are you, Ianto?" He looks around a little. "I'm fine, Ma'am." Mrs. Hunt looks up at him, and then goes to her closet where she keeps the pop they are selling for the school drive and pulls one out and hands it to Ianto. "Ianto, what happened to your arms?" Ianto swallows as he glances down. "Nothing happened, Ma'am. I just tripped and hit the book shelf on the way down, and got a couple bruises."

Mrs. Hunt looks down at his arms where the marks are once again covered by his sleeves. "You know, Ianto, I really don't believe that's what's happened." Ianto tenses slightly but works on maintaining his composure. "What do you think happened, Ma'am?" Mrs. Hunt looks down at Ianto sadly. "I think someone's hurting you. Tell me again who you live with?" Ianto stutters slightly "J-Just my Tad. My sister moved out." Mrs. Hunt nods. "That's what I think. He shouldn't be hurting you Ianto. You're a good kid, and no one should ever hit a child, for any reason." Mrs. Hunt looks up at Ianto to see that he has his hands folded tightly in his lap. "May I please be excused now, Ma'am? " "Not just yet, Ianto. I have two more questions. How old are you now?" Ianto clears his throat. "I just turned 12 Ma'am." Mrs. Hunt nods and looks into Ianto's eyes. "When did he start hurting you?" Ianto is caught. He desperately wants to tell her, but doesn't want to make Tad angry.

His thoughts race as he thinks about how to answer. Finally, Mrs. Hunt speaks up. "You don't have to answer that one, but I would like to help you get out of the house some. Would you like to be trained as a secretary? I'll talk with Mr. Barnes. I know you and he get along." Mrs. Hunt smiles down at Ianto. "You'd be paid, so you could start saving up for college, and you wouldn't have to be home as much. How does that sound, Ianto? You wouldn't be doing very much at first. You're still quite young, but I can't just sit back and not do something."

Mrs. Hunt looks down at Ianto to see that he is smiling and has tears in the corner of his eyes. "I'd like that very much. Thank you Mrs. Hunt." Mrs. Hunt smiles down at him. "I'm glad I could help you, Ianto. You're a good kid. I'll go talk to Mr. Barnes during lunch. Now, you need a pass to your next class, and don't forget about that" Mrs. Hunt nods towards the pop can that Ianto hadn't touched. "Are you sure, Mrs. Hunt?" She nods at him. "Take it" she says as she hands him a pass to class. "I won't promise that you will be employed here, but if you work hard, I'll see what I can do. Now, go on to your next class, and please try to keep yourself safe, Ianto." Ianto nods as he picks up the can and starts walking out. "I will Ma'am. Thank you." Mrs. Hunt smiles at Ianto as he leaves, and then goes to talk to the school secretary about training Ianto after school.


	9. First Day

The next day, Ianto started his training with Mr. Barnes. Ianto was a good worker, and when he was sixteen, he was hired as an assistant secretary to Mr. Barnes. Every day after school, during lunch, and during his free periods, Ianto would come and sort papers, answer the phone, and help organize the office. Mr. Barnes retired when Ianto was 18 and Ianto was hired full time since he had graduated. "Thank you so much for the job, Mr. Barnes. I can't tell you how much it means to me to be able to take over for you. I just hope that I do as well with it as you did." Mr. Barnes chuckled softly and rested a hand on Ianto's shoulder. "I'm glad I could help get you out of that home, especially after what happened when you were 14. Ianto nods, and smiles up at Mr. Barnes, gratefully as he thinks back over the years.

When he was 14, Ianto had called Rhiannon who was now married to Johnny, and told her what had happened. "Quit exaggerating, Yan. Tad doesn't hit you, beat you, starve you, and he did not threaten you with a knife`. I know this is just an attention stunt that I don't have time for. Goodbye." Rhiannon hung up the phone leaving Ianto in a stunned silence. He hadn't spoken to her since. After that, Ianto took up more hours working to save up money to move out. When Ianto was 16 Ianto had saved up enough to get himself a small apartment and moved out of his father's house. He was away from all the yelling, screaming and pain at last.

Mr. Barnes hands Ianto the keys, and rests a hand on his shoulder. "You'll be just fine, Ianto. It was a pleasure working with you, and teaching you. Take good care of the children for me, Mr. Jones." Ianto nods. "I will Sir, I promise." Mr. Bares chuckles. "I don't doubt that." Mr. Barnes pulls Ianto into a hug. "You've grown into a great young man. It's been my pleasure to work with you, and teach you." Ianto hugs him back. "Thank you Sir. That means a lot to me." Mr. Barnes lets go of Ianto and smiles down at him. "I'm not surprised. If you ever need me, feel free to call me." Mr. Barnes hands his phone number to Ianto before he leaves through the door. Ianto goes back to the office and sits down thinking.

Not too long after Mr. Barnes leaves, Ianto sees a tiny bald head poke above the counter. "Mr. Jones?" Ianto can't stop the grin that spreads across his face. "Is that you, Lucy?" He hears a giggle followed by tiny footsteps. "How did you know it was me?" Ianto grins down at the small child in front of him. Lucy was currently seven, and had lost her long blond hair to chemotherapy. They had found out the year before that she was diagnosed with a form of bone cancer. "Just a lucky guess" Ianto says as he squats down so he's level with her. "How are you feeling today?" Her bright brown eye search for his blue ones "I'm a bit tied, and my legs hurt, but I'm ok." She smiles up at him, and Ianto's heart melts. "You'll be just fine. I have some good news for you. Lucy gasps. "What is it?" Ianto smiles down at her softly. "I'm going to work here all the time now." Lucy grins at him. "That's great. You're my favourite." Ianto chuckles softly before looking up to her parents. "Checking in?" They nod, so Ianto fills her out a pass to her class and watches as she hugs them both. He can't help but think back to his own childhood at that age, and how different it was, but how similar.

After her parents leave, and Lucy is on her way to class, Ianto sits at his desk before starting on the never ending paperwork. There always seems to be more paperwork. Absent children, tardies, unexcused absences, release forms, and excuse notes are the most common. As he starts on the mountain of paperwork, he hears some talking and glances up to see a young by being lead in by a teacher. The teacher looks up at Ianto. "He wasn't feeling very well, so I was bringing him down to lay for a little bit." Ianto nods towards the unoccupied heath room and watches as the teacher motions the boy towards the bed.

When the teacher leaves, Ianto comes into the health room. "I hear you're not feeling very well. What's going on?" The boy who looked to be about 10 shrugged. "I feel like I'm going to be sick, and my head hurts, and I feel really warm. Ianto looks through the cupboards before finding a box of disposable thermometers. After instructing the boy to hold it under his tongue and lay down. Ianto goes back to the paperwork.

Five minutes later, an egg timer that Ianto had set up goes off. He walks back into the Health room to find the boy shivering. Quickly he takes the thermometer and looks at it. "You have a bit of a fever. I'll call you mum to come get you." The boy nods, and Ianto pulls a blanket out of the cupboard before draping it around the boy. "Just try and relax, ok? She'll be here soon." The boy nods, and looks up gratefully. "Thank you, Mr. Jones." Ianto smiles at him. "It's no problem. I enjoy helping you all when I can. Would you like any water or anything?" The boy nods. "I just moved here. I'm not sure if you'll find my mum under my name yet, or not." Ianto looks down at him after handing him a glass of water. "What is your name?" The boy looks up and smiles. "My name's Jason Carter, but… It may not be under Jason." Ianto looks slightly and squats down. He looks at Jason compassionately. "Can you tell me what name I might find her under then, if not Jason?" Jason blushes and looks away. Ianto was almost certain he saw a glimpse of tears before he heard Jason speak. "Susan." There it was. Ianto heard the slight catch on the vowels that let him know Jason was in tears. Quickly grabbing some tissues and pressing them into Jason's hand, Ianto rests a hand on Jason's shoulder. "Thank you for telling me, Jason. I'll go call your mum now." Jason nods, and Ianto goes to call his mum.

A quick search reviles that the information has indeed been updated in their system. When Ianto goes back to find Jason, he is sitting on the bed with his arms wrapped around his legs under the blanket. He looks up at Ianto desperately when he comes back in. "I found your mum's number. She said she'll be here in about ten minutes. Just so you know, her information is under Jason in our system." Jason grins and hugs Ianto tightly as he wipes away tears. "Thank you, Mr. Jones. I was afraid it'd be under Susan because that's still my legal name. I hate it!" Jason looks up at Ianto suddenly. "You don't mind, do you?" Ianto smiles and shakes his head. "What would I mind? That a sick boy came in needing emotional help, as well as physical help? That's my job, Jason. My job is to help you kids in any way you may need. Jason shakes his head. "Not that. You don't mind that I'm a boy?" He looks up at Ianto in amazement. Ianto grins and looks down at him. "I don't mind. Want to know a secret?" Jason nods, so Ianto leans in close to him and grins. "I'm a boy too!" Jason starts laughing. "Quit being silly, Mr. Jones!" They sit together laughing, and that is how Mrs. Carter finds them.

"Mr. Jones?" Ianto hops up from sitting beside Jason who is still giggling, and goes to find Mrs. Carter there "Yes, Ma'am. May I help you?" Mrs. Carter nods "I'm here to pick up my son, Jason." "Oh yes! He's right here in the health room." Mrs. Carter smiles as Ianto goes to help Jason get all his things. "What were you two talking about? I haven't heard him laugh like that in a long time." Ianto chuckles and turns to Jason. "Is it alright if I tell her?" He nods, so Ianto turns back to Mrs. Carter. "He was concerned about what name your information would be under, so I verified that it is under 'Jason.' He seemed surprised that I don't mind him being male, so I told him that I was male too. That's when you came in." Mrs. Carter smiles at Ianto. "Thank you, Mr. Jones. Moving here hasn't been easy for him." She places a hand on her son's shoulder. "He doesn't know anyone, and he worries about anyone finding out. I'm glad you're here to help" Ianto smiles softly. "It's no problem. Jason is a good kid, and I'm here to help." Ianto once again drops to the floor so he's eye level with Jason. "I'm here to help all you kids. If you ever need anything, whether it is help, or just someone to talk to, you're more than welcome to come and visit me. Ok?" Jason nods and sniffles slightly. Ianto presses a clean tissue into his hand. "Now, I want you to go home, and feel better, ok?" Jason nods, and hugs Ianto. "Thank you, Mr. Jones." Ianto smiles "You're more than welcome. Go get some rest. I'll see you when you feel better." Jason nods, and waves as he leaves with his mum.

Ianto smiles as he sits back down to finish paperwork, and thinks about all the different children here who need him to help them. Ianto is once again glad that he's started working at this school with such a diverse group of children. Ianto silently vows to always do everything he can to keep the children like Lucy, and Jason safe. He thinks to not only the wide variation of students in academic level, but also special needs. This school obvious has kids like Jason, and Lucy here, and with the size of the school, Ianto wonders how long it will be before a child is sent to him with familiar looking bruises their body. Ianto aches for these children. He thinks of ways to not only fix the physical pain, but the emotional pain he knows his students are in as well. He promises to himself to keep them safe and happy at all costs like he never was at their age.


	10. Final Day

When Ianto had been working as the secretary for about a year and a half, a tall lady walks in one day just after the doors are unlocked and comes up to him. "May I help you, Ma'am?" She nods. "My name is Yvonne Hartman. I'm here to offer you a job." Ianto blinks up at her. "I already have a job, Ma'am." Yvonne looks at him. "Tell me, Mr. Jones, have you ever heard of Torchwood?" Ianto nods. "Everyone has." Yvonne rolls her eyes. "Yes, I know. Worst kept government secret ever. I'm head of Torchwood One, London. I've come to offer you a job with us." Ianto looks down at the desk he's sat at before looking up. "What would I be doing?" She looks down at him and smiles "Pretty much what you do here. There would be filing paper-work, organizing, maybe a bit of cleaning. There would also be some research that needs done. You would of course, get a substantial pay raise." Ianto sighs and rubs at his head. "Would I be allowed to say good bye to the children here, first?" Yvonne nods. "You start in one week. I expect you to be at One Canada Square, which is the tallest of the three Canary Wharf skyscrapers at 7:30 am on Monday.. You can tell your boss that you're joining Torchwood so you don't have to worry about the two week notice. Good day Mr. Jones." Ianto nods slightly at Yvonne as she leaves.

The next day when Ianto comes in to work, he's carrying a small plastic bag with him, and trying to not get overly emotional as he waits for some of the students to come in. Lucy comes in fairly quickly and pokes her head above the counter. While she's tall enough to now be seen, she is still bald from her fight with cancer. "Hi Mr. Jones" she smiles cheerfully at him. Ianto smiles sadly. "Lucy, can you come here please, I want to speak with you. Lucy nods and comes around the counter looking worried. Ianto gets down onto his knees to be eye level with her. "Today's my last day here. I have a new job." Lucy's jaw drops, and Ianto can see that she's about to cry. He quickly grabs some tissues and places them in her hand. "Who will make me feel better when I'm feeling poorly from cancer Mr. Jones?" Ianto sighs slightly. "I'm sure the next person will be able to make you feel better too." Lucy shakes her head. "Not like you. You know how it feels." Ianto nods, and Lucy hugs him. "I'm sorry, Lucy." She hiccups while still hugging him. Ianto pulls back a little. "I brought you something." Lucy wipes at her eyes. "What is it?" Ianto reaches into the bag he brought with him, and pulls out a small black shirt that reads 'I am Cancer Free.' Ianto smiles at her. "When you beat this, and I know you will, I want you to put this shirt on, and send me a picture. This is the same shirt I was given when I had cancer." Lucy takes the shirt in awe. "Thank you, Mr. Jones." Ianto nods. "Are you going to be ok?" Lucy nods and he can see she's started crying again. "Do you want me to call your mum?" Lucy nods, so Ianto quickly calls her mum before telling Lucy she'll be back in a few minutes.

Ianto sits by Lucy trying to comfort her before her mum comes in to get her. Lucy hugs Ianto one last time and whispers "Thank you for everything, Mr. Jones." Ianto nods and hugs her back. "Be good, Lucy. You're strong. I know you'll pull through." Lucy nods, and leaves with her mum. Ianto is whipping his eyes as he sees Jason walk in. "Are you ok, Mr. Jones?" Ianto nods. "I'm glad I found you, Jason. I need to talk to you. I got a new job. Today's my last day here." Ianto looks up at Jason to see a look of pain on his face. "I hope you like your new job, and I wish you didn't have to leave. You're the one that was the nicest to me about everything." Ianto nods sadly. "I wish I didn't have to leave you kids. I brought something for you though. Would you like to see it?" "Sure!" Jason follows Ianto to the office where Ianto grabs the only other thing in the bag he brought. It's a large rectangle that has been wrapped in newspaper. "Go ahead and open it, Jason. I had some help from you family to make it."

Jason opens the package, and gasps. Inside is a light blue picture frame, with the words "It's a boy!" across the top. Inside, there is a collage of pictures of Jason from his infanthood, and childhood. "What does this mean" Jason asks as he looks down up at Ianto. Ianto smiles down at him. "It means that you're a boy now, and you were a boy back then. Your mind and body just didn't agree. You were always a boy, and you will always be a boy." Ianto wipes away a tear before Jason is hugging him tightly, and crying. "Thank you so much, Mr. Jones. I love it. It's perfect." Ianto smiles and grabs them both some tissues. "I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure what I should do for you." Jason laughed. "You didn't have to do anything." Ianto nods. "That may be, but I still wanted to do something. I'm glad I was able to do this for you. Why don't you put it in your locker to keep it safe?" Jason nods, so Ianto writes him a pass to class, and smiles at him as he leaves clutching the picture frame to his chest.

How will he live without seeing these children's smiles, or drying their tears anymore? Ianto knows he's going to miss these children terribly. They've brought him so much joy, and it hurts him to watch them because he knows he won't be here for them anymore. Ianto has loved working with them, and helping them. He makes a mental note to himself to make sure to check up on Jason, and Lucy when he can. Ianto smiles at the thought of the two children, and sits at his desk before wiping away a year as he glances out the window. He knows not working around these children anymore will be the loneliest thing he's ever been.


	11. A New Job

When Monday morning rolls around, Ianto wakes up early feeling both excitement and dread. Why did he feel dreadful? He sits up and glances at the calendar before remembering that he didn't work at the school any more. He quickly realizes he has to meet Yvonne at 7:30. Looking at the clock, he sighs a breath of relief when he sees that it's only 5:45 am. Earlier than he likes waking up, but it gives him enough time to get ready. He looks through his closet to find an outfit for the day, and decides to go with a black suit, white shirt, and a deep red tie. Just enough color without making him look unprofessional. He takes his clothes to the bathroom and lays them on the counter before taking a shower.

As Ianto stands in the shower and lets the warm water flow over his shoulders, back, and chest, he thinks about what today will bring and what it will be like to no longer be a part of the children's lives at the school. Ianto thinks to Lucy and Jason and wishes he could do more to help keep them safe. Isn't that what he's doing at Torchwood though? He'll be helping keep not only them safe, but everyone else as well. After Ianto's relaxed, he makes his way from the shower and gets dressed before doing his hair. After making sure he looks presentable, Ianto goes to the kitchen and makes himself some coffee and toast for breakfast. At 6:45, he leaves the house to go to One Canada Square.

When he arrives, it is 7:15 am, and the sun is just starting to peak over the horizon. Ianto stands there waiting checking his watch every few minutes. As soon as the watch reads 7:30, Ianto hears something and turns to see a man standing behind him. "Mr. Jones" asks the man. Ianto nods, so the man steps closer to him. "I'm Dr. Rajesh Singh. Yvonne sent me to get you. Shall we go in?" Ianto nods so the man leads him to the entrance.

Once inside, Ianto can't help but look around. "You'll be working in the archives organizing, and researching. You'll also be in charge of cleaning when you have time." Ianto nods only half listening as he tries to take everything in at once. Ianto suddenly stops. "Would you like a cup of coffee?" Dr. Singh looks at him. "We've almost finished the pot. If you want to make another, the coffee grounds are in the cupboard above the pot. Ianto tries to contain a sound of disgust at the mention of coffee grounds. "Coffee will be ready in seven minutes. How many people am I making coffee for?" Dr. Singh stops to count. "There are six people here, counting you. There's Yvonne, who's the director, Samuel is one of our best scientists, Adeola Oshodi is our other scientist, me, you, and Lisa. I don't know what she does, or where her work station is. Good luck finding her." Ianto nods, and goes to make coffee for everyone.

After the coffee is brewed to Ianto's standards using his own beans and grinding them himself, He places all six mugs on a tray that he's found and begins to pass them around. After handing Yvonne her coffee, she takes a sip of it and sighs happily. "Can you make our coffee too?" Ianto nods. "Great. I'm adding that to your duties." Ianto smiles softly before turning. He just has to find Lisa now. Not knowing where to start looking, he starts wandering around carrying both of their coffees.

He's almost made it completely around the building when there is a quit voice behind him. "Excuse me? That smells incredible. I was wondering if there was any left." Ianto turns around to see a beautiful woman in front of him. He's captivated by her skin and eyes. "L-Lisa?" he stammers. The lady nods. "Lisa Hallett. I take it you are Ianto Jones?" Ianto nods and quickly hands her a cup. Lisa takes a sip and smiles. "It tastes as wonderful as it smells. Thank you." Lisa looks around a little. "What does your job include?" Ianto looks at hr. "Making coffee, cleaning, organizing, and researching." Lisa smiles "I'm in charge of organizing everything. We'll be working together. What did you do before you came here?" Ianto stops. "I.. I worked as a secretary and nurse at a school. It was the best job, ever." Lisa looks down at him comfortingly. "Why did you leave?" Ianto looks up at her and opens his mouth before stopping. "I don't really know. Yvonne came up to me and rested her hand on my shoulder, and then I just went with it. I really don't know why. I want to go speak with her." Lisa nods, and Ianto sets off to go find Yvonne.

When Ianto arrives at her office, he takes a deep breath before knocking. "Come in" Yvonne calls to him. Slowly Ianto walks in. "Ms. Hartman, I was wondering if I could talk with you." She nods, so Ianto sits down. "I was wondering why you wanted me to work here." Mrs. Hartman nods, and reaches under her desk for something Ianto can't see. He blinks briefly as he catches a faint scent of oranges, and figures she's put on lotion. Mrs. Hartman smiles before continuing. "I wanted you, because you were the best. You're young, healthy, and quite frankly, intelligent. You must know the records from that school by heart. Before you started working there, student attendance was what?" Ianto pipes up immediately.

"72% when I first started, and 94% when I left." Mrs. Hartman nods. What was the graduation rate before you started?" Ianto takes a breath "65% when I started, 87% when I left. If I did so well at the school, why take me away from the students who need me?" Mrs. Hartman smiles "You made the school better with your organizing, and cleaning. We need your resourcefulness here. We think you'd be a good fit, and could help us along the way to improve. We need your eye here." Mrs. Hartman stands up and rests a hand on his cheek. Again, Ianto smells oranges. It isn't unpleasant, just out of place in the cluttered office that looks like it hasn't been cleaned in years. 'She must have put on some lotion or perfume then' Ianto thinks. "Now be a good little boy, and stop asking questions. Go about your jobs, alright?" Ianto nods and turns to leave. "Thank you Mrs. Hartman." He walks quickly out of her room to start his work without pressing it further.


	12. Oranges and Dates

The next day, Ianto arrives precisely at 7:30 am and starts making the teams coffee's. As he makes his way to deliver Yvonne, he can't help but think about the orange scented lotion from yesterday. As he sets her coffee down, he smiles at her. "Mrs. Hartman, may I ask you a question?" She nods, so Ianto continues. "Yesterday, I smelled some sort of lotion or something. I was wondering what it was. It smelled incredible." Yvonne smiles at him. "Oh, it's just some body spray I have. I've always been partial to oranges myself. Now, be a good boy, and don't ask any more time wasting questions." Ianto catches the tiniest hint of the body spray, and nods to go find Lisa.

After searching all around for Lisa, Ianto decides to check where he's been told he'll be working as Lisa made a comment about them working together. As he enters the room, he looks around. There's a shelf with artifacts that have been categorized, and some that have yet to be. There are stacks of files on the ground so big they come up to Ianto's waist. As he looks around, he catches a quick glance of Lisa who was kneeling on the floor. "Lisa" Ianto asks quietly and she looks up and smiles. "Ianto, it's great to see you again." Ianto feels himself blush lightly as he hands her a cup of coffee. "I brought you some coffee." Lisa smiles as she takes it. "Thank you. It's wonderful."

Ianto smiles and kneels down beside her. "What am I doing?" Lisa chuckles softly and hands him a box of artifacts. "You're looking them up in these records, and then organizing the shelves with identification cards for each item. See this one?" Lisa pulls out a small blue ball that would easily be concealed in someone's palm. "Yu look it up in here." She flips through some records before coming across it. "You have to look it up by basic size, and shape. Ah! Here it is." Lisa points to a picture of it, and Ianto looks. It did look just like the ball she pulled out. "See the description?" Ianto nods. "You're going to write down its name, number, and a description of its function." Lisa grabs a blank card and shows Ianto how to fill it out. "It's called a Memory Sphere. One person holds it, and then the next person can see whatever the person was thinking about when they held it."

Lisa hands it to Ianto, and instantly he sees a small girl that he assumes to be Lisa, and a beautiful woman that looks so much like her in a fabric store. Little Lisa runs up to a sparkly pink fabric. "I like this one, Mum! Can my dress be made out of this?" Lisa's mum laughs. "You chose one so soon? Do you want to look around more?" Lisa shakes her head, so Mrs. Hallett purchases the fabric. The next thing that Ianto sees is Lisa at a birthday party in a beautiful dress made out of the fabric. It was so well sewn it looked as if it had been bought at a fancy shop. Lisa was grinning and twirling. "I feel so pretty mum!" Mrs. Hallett laughs. "You look it, Lisa. I'm glad you like it." Ianto smiles as the memory fades. He was glad Lisa had such a happy childhood.

Lisa holds out her hand for it. "Mind if I see your reaction?" Ianto shakes his head and hands it over. "Feel free." Lisa squeezes the memory sphere and gasps. Instantly, she is filled with pain. Ianto's thoughts had drifted back to his own childhood. Lisa while sitting there sees Ianto's childhood as if she's floating above everything. She can feel everything he felt. She watches him struggling with cancer, sees his mum's funeral, and watches as his father quickly becomes an abusive drunk, taking it out on Ianto. When she finally drops the memory sphere, she has tears streaming down her cheeks. "Ianto, I'm so sorry." Ianto leans forward and hugs her. "It's ok, really. I survived, and I was able to help the children at the school better because of it." Ianto looks at Lisa she brushes her tears away. "Would you like to go get a coffee, or bite to eat? We can talk about this if you want." Lisa nods. "That'd be nice, but I don't want to force you to talk about that. I could feel everything he put you though." Ianto helps Lisa stand up. "I didn't realize my thoughts had wandered. I'm sorry for showing you that." Lisa brushes him off. "It responds to subconscious reactions, and memories. It's a way of telling if someone's telling the truth or not about something. It's impossible to fake a response with it." Ianto smiles lightly. "I noticed, would you like to go to the pastry shop, or the little corner restaurant?" Lisa smiles at him. "The corner restaurant sounds lovely."

When they're in the restaurant, they sit and talk about anything and everything together. They talked about their childhood, and Ianto filled Lisa in on some of the happier times of his childhood. He tells her about his sixth birthday, and she laughs when he tells her how the people at the restaurant set him on the table to sing to him. Lisa tells him some of the sadder points to her childhood like the day that her dad left, and how she hadn't seen him since she was seven and a half years old. Halfway through their sandwiches, Lisa looks up at Ianto. "Are we counting this as a date?" Ianto chuckles "Only if you want it to be a date." Lisa smiles up at him. "I'd love that." Ianto can't help but grin at Lisa as he pays their bill. They walk back to Torchwood hand in hand, and quickly head back down to the archives before anyone notices they left.

Once they're back in the archives, Lisa sets Ianto up with a few boxes, records, and stacks of cards to see how he manages on his own. Towards the bottom of the last box, he finds a small vile labeled 'Beryllium Technetium.' It seemed to be a clear liquid. Immediately, something sparks Ianto's interest in it. Looking it up in the files, he comes across its description. "Beryllium Technetium is a colorless liquid. It is administered to bare skin by touch, and it has been said that has been said by some of its test subjects to smell of oranges, but does not generally have an odor. It is said to create complete compliance without questioning, but has inconclusive results. UNSAFE AND NOT FOR HUMAN USE" Ianto's jaw drops. So this was what was going on! "She's been drugging me!" Lisa looks up. "What was that, Ianto?" Ianto stashes the bottle in his pocket. "Nothing, I just find this interesting, old records and artifacts. You never know what you'll find." Lisa smiles at him and goes back to work. The slight weight in his pocket reminding him of the children he left behind because of this drug, and he promises himself and them that he will talk to Yvonne about it as soon as he can.


	13. Secrets Reviled

The next day, Ianto arrives at work at 7:15 so he is early enough to talk to Mrs. Hartman, and still be on time for work. When Ianto gets in, the first thing he does is go to the archives and grab the bottle of Beryllium Technetium along with its paper before going to Mrs. Hartman's office. Ianto is so nervous he is shaking as he makes his way, and he reminds himself under no circumstances should he let her close enough to touch him. He wants answers as to why she is drugging him.

When Ianto gets to her office, he is trying to keep himself from shaking. Soon after he knocks, Mrs. Hartman calls out "Come in." When Ianto walks in, she sighs quietly. "I thought I told you to stop asking questions." Instead of answering, Ianto just sets the bottle of Beryllium Technetium on her desk. Mrs. Hartman looks down at it. "What is that?" Ianto glares at her. "You know what that is! It's called Beryllium Technetium, and it's what you've been getting me to not question anything! You drugged me yesterday and at the school. I-I remember! You set your hand on my shoulder and bumped my neck lightly as you told me that you wanted me, because I was the best. I didn't choose to leave those kids! Why did you really choose me?" Yvonne laughs darkly. "You want to know why you were chosen, it was mostly because of how you managed to improve the school, but also, you're quite ordinary, and we needed someone to test on. If it went wrong, no one would have missed you." Ianto's jaw drops as he hears her words.

"So you just decide to experiment on me without telling me? You can't do that. I won't let you! I'll leave." Yvonne looks at him and laughs. "But you did agree, and you can't leave." She pulls out Ianto's contract to show him. In the fine print, it said 'By signing, the above applicant agrees to perform any and all medical tests that are deemed necessary, or important." Ianto looks from the line down to his signature. "I can still leave." Mrs. Hartman smirks. "Do you know what happens to Torchwood agents when they're let go, Ianto?" He shakes his head, and Mrs. Hartman pulls out a gun and sets it on her desk. "We take them to a secluded location, and the last thing they ever hear is a bang before everything goes dark." Ianto's eyes widen at the gun.

"You really kill them?" Yvonne grins darkly at him "Only the ones who try and leave. You can never leave Torchwood, Ianto. You know too much. Now tell me, are you going to comply, and do your job, or are we going to take you to a back alley?" Ianto looks down at the gun, and seeing that she is serious, he quickly responds "What type of thins are you going to be testing?" Yvonne chuckles. "Only things that we're certain won't hurt you. We were just testing how well the Beryllium Technetium works, and on different genders and ages, as well as those who have never heard of it. We couldn't tell you, so we knew any reaction would be genuine. Now, are you going to stay, or are we going to terminate your employment?" Ianto looks down at the gun afraid. "As long as you're not testing anything dangerous, and I know that you're testing something, I'll stay" Yvonne grins and puts the gun away. "I was hoping you would. We've all taken the Beryllium Technetium here. Now, go back to your work, and don't waste my time." Ianto nods before scurrying to the archives under his own devices, glad to be away from her.

When Ianto gets back to the Archives, he sees Lisa is already there. "Hello, Ianto. I was hoping you were here… What's wrong? You look all flustered" Ianto shakes his head slightly before clearing his throat. "What do you know about Beryllium Technetium?" Lisa looks up at him. "I know that it causes compliance to someone's orders. Why?" Ianto sits beside her. "Have you ever had it reused on you?" Lisa nods. "Everyone here has. This job gets inside your head, and it messes with you. If you don't agree, they kill you Sometimes we need a little extra help agreeing to Yvonne's demands."

Ianto looks up at Lisa and sees that she has tears in her eyes. Ianto wipes them away softly before hugging her. "Please don't cry. I'm always here if you need to talk." Lisa nods and rests her head on Ianto's shoulder. He smiles down at her. Lisa looks up at him. "What is it?" Ianto blushes lightly causing Lisa to forget her problems and laugh. Ianto quickly stammers "It's nothing." "Oh now you _have_ to tell me" Lisa says with a grin. Ianto sighs softly. "I was just thinking about how beautiful you are, and how much it hurts me to see you cry. Lisa looks up at him skeptically. "Alright, you've had your fun. Now what were you really thinking?" Ianto looks down at her. "I just told you. You don't believe me?" Lisa sits up and smiles lightly. "I don't. It's only your second day here. You seem to be quite sensitive, so I imagine seeing anyone cry would upset you, but beautiful? No."

Ianto looks at her shocked. "How can you say that? You're extremely beautiful. You heard how I started stuttering yesterday." Lisa chuckles. "We've known each other barely 24 hours." Ianto rests a hand lightly on Lisa's cheek and looks into her eyes. "Yes, but we went on a date yesterday. Lisa, you're so beautiful. You're smart, and kind, and patient. You sat with me teaching me what I need me to know, you know what happened when I was younger, and you're still willing to speak with me. You're an amazing person, Lisa." Ianto then sits forward and presses his lips softly to Lisa's who looks momentarily shocked before relaxing and kissing him back. "Do you really think that, Ianto?" He nods and smiles. "I do."

Lisa smiles up at him before stopping. "What does this mean? Are we together now?" Ianto stops. "Well, I don't have anyone in my life, and I should have checked if you did before kissing you." Lisa smiles "There's no one." Ianto relaxes slightly. "Well then, I would say it's up to you if you want this to be something or not." "Please?" It's almost so quiet, Ianto didn't hear Lisa, but the look on her face tells him that he did indeed hear her correctly. Ianto nods while smiling lightly before pulling Lisa to his arms and hugging her. In another part of the building, Yvonne is sat behind her desk watching Ianto and Lisa, and she promises to keep an exceedingly close eye on them, and the relationship that seems to be developing.


	14. Taking Chances

**Note**: I'M BACK! Thank you to all the people who wished me a speedy recovery. I'm off the pain medicine now, and my mind is more clear. All in all, I feel a lot better, but I'm still going to be on crutches for a while.

Watching on the monitor, Yvonne watches Ianto. She has a feeling that something is up. He's been acting stranger than usual lately. He's been here just under a year. He pulls out his planner and looks. 10 months, 2 weeks, and five days. Ianto smiles to himself and straightens his tie. He puts the planner away and waits for Lisa to come in.

When Lisa comes in, Ianto grins and kisses her "Hello beautiful." Lisa chuckles and bats his arm softly. "Stop it, Ianto." Ianto smiles at her. "Want to go out tonight? I made reservations for us." Lisa stops and smiles. "That sounds lovely. Thank you, Ianto." He just smiles and nods as they start their work at which point Yvonne turns off the camera watching them. No sense boring herself to sleep, as long as they aren't doing anything inappropriate.

That night when it was time to leave, Ianto pulls out a bag and hands it to Lisa. "Can you wear this tonight please?" Lisa opens the bag to revile a red dress fancier than she has ever owned. It seemed to be made of form-fitting silk, and it flowed as she pulled it out of the bag. "It's beautiful, Ianto! Thank you!" Ianto just smiles. "Look at the front." As Lisa turns it, she gasps. Across the chest are jewels that resemble diamonds. "Wow, Ianto!" He smiles and kisses her softly. "Wear it tonight?" Lisa nods and goes to change. When she comes back in the dress, Ianto grins and takes her hand spinning her once. "Beautiful." Before they leave, Ianto hands her a pair of earrings. "They were in the bag too." Lisa looks at them and smiles. They weren't overly big, but they matched the color and shine of the dress perfectly. She chuckles when she imagines Ianto picking them out, but knowing him, he didn't have any problems. "Are you ready for dinner" Lisa nods, so Ianto leads her to the car, and then to the restaurant.

When they get inside, Ianto in his best suit and Lisa in her new dress, Lisa gasps and reaches for Ianto's hand. "How did you get reservations here?" Ianto just smiled. "I called about two months ago. Not that I mind. I'm just glad I can finally take you here." Lisa smiles and they are led to their table by a waiter. Their table seems to be in the middle of everyone else in the restaurant. Lisa frowns slightly, but quickly stops. This would still be a romantic evening, even if they had other people around.

When they get to the table, they are handed drink menus. "What do you think, Lisa? Does red wine sound good?" She nods so Ianto orders it. Lisa and Ianto sit and talk happily. Not too far into their conversation, Lisa notices Ianto looking uncomfortable. "Are you alright Ianto?" He nods "Just… Just a stomach ache" Lisa nods. Ianto smiles at her and takes her hand. "You look beautiful tonight. You always look beautiful." Lisa smiles and pats his hands as the waiter brings the wine and pours them each a glass.

After their dinner comes, Ianto only takes a few bites before he stops and sets down his fork. "Lisa, I need to ask you something." Ianto looks concerned as she sets down her fork as well. "Ok." Ianto takes both of her hands in his and kisses them lightly before looking up at her. "I love you so much Lisa. I've always loved you. You've changed me, and you've made me a better person. You've helped me move past my childhood, and shown me how to have fun again. You're smart, and caring, and absolutely perfect. You're so beautiful inside and out. You are strong enough to do what needs to be done whether or not it's what you want to do. I love everything about you. You're someone I can trust, someone I can easily talk to about anything. You care about me, and you do your best to take care of me. I don't know what I'd do without you, Lisa. I'm terrified of ever losing you. You mean so much to me. I love you so much that it physically hurts when we're apart. You mean everything to me, and I need to be with you. You keep me sane. You remind me who I really am. You know of my past, and what happened, but you love me anyways. What I want to know, Lisa, is this. Will you marry me?"

As he finishes his proposal, Ianto pulls a small box out of his pocket and opens it to show Lisa the diamond ring inside. He looks up at her worried, to see that she is crying. She comes around the table and wraps her arms tightly around Ianto. As she cries, she nods. "Yes." Instantly, the restaurant is filled with cheering and applauding. Neither had noticed that the restaurant had fallen silent as Ianto spoke. Ianto takes the ring and slides it onto her hand as he holds her and kisses her. Ianto wipes at her tears softly with his thumb as he smiles. "I love you so much." Lisa smiles back at him. "I love you too, Ianto." They finish their dinner holding each other's hands as people come up and congratulate them.

They leave the restaurant hand in hand before Ianto strokes Lisa's hand with his thumb. "Would you like to come back to my place?" Lisa nods and rests her head on Ianto's shoulder as they walk. The car ride home is fairly quiet. It's filled with smiles, and quick glances at the other. Ianto resting one hand on Lisa's thigh as they drive. When they get back to his house, Ianto helps Lisa out of the car, and then into his house. When they enter, they share a knowing look before each of them are pulling the other into their arms and kissing desperately. Hands scrabble for any purchase they can find. When the need for air becomes too much and they break apart, Ianto rests his forehead on Lisa's and looks into her eyes as he rests one hand on each shoulder "Bedroom" He asks quietly, and Lisa almost missed it before nodding. "Yes." Ianto leads her to his bedroom once again kissing her desperately; their clothes being shed on the way to the bedroom.

Later after the house has quieted and the sounds of moans and skin on skin have faded away, Lisa lays curled in Ianto's arms with her head on his chest. Ianto smiles at her as he rubs her back lightly and wraps one arm around her protectively. "I didn't hurt you did I? I mean… That was good for you, yeah?" Lisa laughs and cuddles closer to him. "It was amazing, and completely mind-blowing. Why do you ask?" Lisa moves so she's looking up at Ianto. Ianto blushes lightly. "It's just… I never… I mean…" Ianto starts stammering, and Lisa chuckles. "For your first time, that was excellent, and I'm honored to be your first, Ianto." She kisses his chest softly, and snuggles into his arms smiling. Ianto covers them both with a sheet on his bed. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Lisa closes her eyes. "What did you think" Ianto chuckles and rubes her back softly. "It was incredible. So much better than I expected it to be, and well worth the wait." When Lisa doesn't respond, Ianto looks down to check on her only to see that she's fallen asleep with her arms around him while smiling. Ianto kisses her head and gets comfortable before holding onto her and falling asleep happy, for the first time in quite a while.

**AN: **You can see the dress I was modeling this after here. Just make sure to remove spaces, underscores, and parenthesis, and add the dots back.

(maxim) images

.com

/ (stock-photo/CKYG-young-black-woman-wearing-red-dr ess)._jpg


	15. Morning scare

A few weeks later, Lisa wakes up with a small groan and sits up. Ianto is instantly awake. "Are you ok?" Lisa nods slightly. "I'm fine. I just feel…" before she can finish her sentence, Lisa is running to the bathroom and getting sick. Ianto quickly jumps out of bed and runs to the bathroom. When he runs in, he sees Lisa kneeling on the ground by the toilet with her head resting on her arms. Ianto runs a wash rag under some cool water before placing it on her neck and sitting on the edge of the tub as he strokes her hair. "This is the third day in a row you've been getting sick. I'm calling the doctor, and making you an appointment for today." From her current position, Lisa manages to only nod slightly. Ianto goes to grab his phone before coming back into the bathroom.

Once he comes back in, Lisa has moves so she's sitting up. Ianto wraps an arm around her as he dials Yvonne's number. "Hello Ms. Hartman. It's Ianto Jones. I'm calling to inform you that Lisa and I won't be in today. She's feeling poorly, and I'm taking her to the doctors." There is a silence before Ianto continues. "Thank you, Ms. Hartman. I'll be sure to tell her." Ianto hangs up and rubs Lisa's back lightly. "We both have the day off." Ianto picks up the phone again and dials the doctors. "Hello, my fiancé has been feeling poorly. She's been throwing up the past few days, and has been quite nauseous. I was wondering if it would be possible to make an appointment for her today…. Today at 11:30? Alright, thank you Ma'am… Her name is Lisa Hallett… Thank you. Have a good day." Ianto sets his phone down. "You have an appointment today at 11:30 a.m. We'll have to leave soon if we're going to be ok time, ok?" Lisa nods, so Ianto leaves her alone as he leaves the bathroom to get dressed. When he comes back in to check on Lisa, she's started getting dressed. Ianto smiles and gathers a few things before waiting for Lisa to join him out at the car so he can drive them.

When they arrive, Ianto helps Lisa out of the car and walks with her to the office where she signs in. She winces slightly looking around, and Ianto steps closer to her and wraps an arm around her. "I know you don't like the doctors, but sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do, but need done." Ianto rests his head on Lisa's shoulder and smiles as he thinks back to his Mam. "Something my Mam used to tell me when I didn't want to go to the hospital and have my cancer monitored." Lisa stays quiet instead of telling Ianto that she knows this, and lets him enjoy the sentimental value of it.

Lisa is called back quickly, and Ianto goes with her. The nurse smiles at them. "What seems to be the problem today?" Lisa sighs lightly and looks up. "I haven't been feeling well. I've been a bit nauseous, and dizzy. My fiancé wanted me to come in." The nurse nods and checks Lisa's heart rate, and blood pressure. "When was your last menstrual cycle?" Lisa sits back to think. "It was two weeks ago." The nurse nods. "The doctor will be right in." Lisa nods, and the nurse leaves. Ianto moves so he's sitting beside her and stroking her hand softly.

Not long after the nurse leaves, there is a soft knock on the door, and a kind looking man walks in. "Ms. Hallett, I'm Doctor Gill." He smiles at her, and Lisa instantly relaxes. Ianto notes that Doctor Gill seems to be about 45 years old, with floppy dirty blond hair that almost went to his wide blue eyes, and a nice smile. Ianto sits back. "I hear you're not feeling too well. What's going on?" Lisa looks up at him. "I've just been nauseous and my fiancé is worried." Doctor Gill nods. "I've read over everything. Would you mind lying on the table please?" Lisa stands up and lies down on the medical table. "I'm just going to press on your stomach, and I want you to tell me if it hurts, ok?" Lisa nods and Doctor Gill presses lightly on her stomach. Lisa instantly winces and tenses. Ianto looks concerned as Doctor Gill removes his gloves. "I'm going to order some blood work. The phlebotomist should be here soon, and I'll have the results before you leave." With that, Doctor Gill presses some buttons on the key pad on the wall to signal that a phlebotomist was needed as he leaves.

Ianto hugs Lisa tightly as he can see how worried she is. "Are you ok?" Lisa nods. "My stomach just is tender." Ianto frowns and kisses her head. "Whatever it is, the doctor will figure it out." Lisa nods and cuddles close to him before the phlebotomist comes in. Lisa sighs looking at the kit, but holds out one arm while Ianto holds her other hand. The phlebotomist draws the needed blood quickly before leaving and telling them "Doctor Gill should be back in about 15 minutes with the results." Lisa and Ianto nod before the phlebotomist is out the door.

Ianto sits there looking at the door until he hears Lisa sniffle. He looks over to see that she's crying. Ianto quickly stands up and gets some tissues for her. He kneels down in front of her as he dries her tears. "It'll be ok, Lisa. Whatever's wrong, I'm sure Doctor Gill will be able to help with." Neither one of them had noticed Doctor Gill come back to the room until they hear him cough behind them. Ianto jumps and spins as Doctor Gill tries to calm them. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I have the results of your blood work, Ms. Hallett." Ianto instantly takes her hand and looks up at Doctor Gill. He smiles back at them. "You're pregnant. About six weeks along. What you're feeling is morning sickness" Lisa's jaw drops. "I can't be. I had my period two weeks ago!" Doctor Gill looks at her knowingly. "Was it lighter than usual?" Lisa nods slightly, and Doctor Gill continues. "Some spotting is normal, and sometimes it can resemble a light period. Congratulations." Lisa looks up at Owen shocked and wraps her arms tightly around his neck. "We're going to be parents!" Doctor Gill smiles lightly as he shows them out. Neither of them had any way to know that the battle of Canary Wharf was only two months away. Lisa wasn't even showing yet.


	16. The Basement

Ianto had been working at Torchwood Three for about two weeks, and he had to admit, it was quite similar to Torchwood One except for a few key points. At torchwood One, while one of his jobs was to clean up after everyone, they seemed to manage better without him than at Torchwood Three. Ianto was sure that some of the team was leaving their garbage out just because they could. Ianto would guess that was one of Owen's main reasons. The archives were a mess with piles of folders up to his waist, and everything carelessly organized. Also at Torchwood three, everyone seemed more desperate for his coffee. Speaking of coffee Owen's voice suddenly cut through Ianto's thoughts. "Hey Ianto, can I get another cup of coffee?" Ianto looks at his watch and sighed. It had only been five minutes since his last coffee run.

Ianto walks over to Owen in the medical bay and picks up his mug before refilling it, and bringing it back to him. "That took you long enough." Ianto frowns at Owen. "Maybe you can get your own coffee, or would you prefer instant?" Ianto smirks as Owen stops talking, so Ianto goes back to his cleaning. 'Why do I even put up with them all?' Ianto sighs to himself as he thinks 'Even their procedure when an employee leaves if different. Here they take your memories. That wouldn't happen back at Torchwood One. Back I in London, they take you into a dark ally, and shoot you.' Ianto sighs again as his body tenses and he thinks back to Lisa. No one knows he has her in the basement. Ianto can feel tears pricking his eyes. He's just about to reach up and brush them away when he hears someone walk up behind him. "Excellent bottom" Ianto groans to himself. Why did the Captain have to walk in as he was bent over? "That's harassment, Sir." Captain Jack smirks as Ianto turns to face him. "Write a report and send it to the boss. Is there any chance of getting some coffee?" Ianto nods and goes to pour Captain Jack a cup.

Jack follows him to the kitchen. "You work yourself too hard, Ianto. Take the night off. Go home and relax, go to a pub, find a girlfriend." Ianto's whole body tenses at the mention of a girlfriend. "I already have a fiancé" he screams inside his mind before stopping himself. "I think that sounds like an excellent idea, Sir. Thank you." Ianto hands Jack a mug of coffee and a small plate of biscuits before wiping the counters down with a cloth. "I just need to finish cleaning, and then feed Myfanwy before I go home." Jack shakes his head. "I'll have Suzie feed her. You, go relax. Have fun for once. You never smile." Ianto sighs lightly and nods. "Thank you for the night off, Sir." Jack just nods as he watches Ianto leave the kitchen, enjoying the view of the young man in front of him.

Ianto smiles to himself as he gathers up all his belongings, and walks through the cog door setting off the alarm, and informing Jack that he has indeed left. Ianto goes to his car, and lets himself drive off knowing Jack will be watching on the camera. Once he's out of range of the cameras, Ianto turns the car around, and drives down the street and parks his car before getting out, and jogging back to the hub around the back where there aren't any cameras. Ianto laughs to himself. If Jack really wants to keep it secure, why doesn't he monitor from the back of the building as well? When Ianto makes it to the secret entrance that everyone else seems to have forgotten about, he quietly slips inside and makes his way down to the basement, undetected.

When Ianto is down in the basement, he quickly slips into the room where Isa is hidden. He smiles when he sees her. "You're already awake!" Ianto sets everything down and walks up to her. "How are you feeling?" Lisa looks up at him with her large brown eyes. "The pain is a little better, but I still hurt." Ianto nods and reaches for a bag that he has kept hidden in the room with her. "Do you want some medicine for it?" Lisa nods slightly, so Ianto opens the bag and fills a syringe with morphine before giving the shot to Lisa. Ianto almost jumps when he feels her arm. "You're freezing!" Ianto goes to the shelf and pulls off a blanket before covering Lisa with it, and kissing her softly.

Ianto stands up and reaches for a glass of water he brought with a straw in it before holding the straw out to Lisa who drinks readily from it. "I brought you a chicken salad. I hope that's ok." Lisa smiles at Ianto. "That sounds amazing right now." Ianto kisses her forehead before opening the salad and slowly feeding her. After a few bites, Lisa pulls back and looks up at Ianto. "Tell me about Captain Jack. Are the rumors true?" Her eyes shine with excitement, and Ianto can't help but laugh as he helps her eat. "They are. He'll shag anything if it holds still today. He came in today as I was leaning over to pick up some rubbish that had been left around, and started flirting with me." Lisa laughs.

"Do you think he'll continue flirting?" Ianto nods and eats a piece of chicken "Almost certainly." Lisa gazes up at Ianto. "Are you going to?" Ianto shakes his head. "No way I could do that to you, even if I wanted to" he murmurs softly as he kisses her. Lisa in response, smiles at him knowingly. "You want to, don't you?" Ianto blinks. "Well, I won't say he isn't attractive, but I don't really know if I want to. Why should I be sleeping with someone else?" Lisa grins up at him wickedly. "What if I want you to? I want to hear all the details, including how big he is, down there." Ianto's jaw drops. "You have a filthy mind, Lisa." Lisa just laughs and reaches out a hand weakly towards Ianto. "Just know that I won't be angry if you do. You just have to tell me about it." Ianto chuckles as he strokes Lisa's hand with his thumb "If you say so, Lisa." Lisa smiles and tries to stifle a yawn. Ianto kisses her, and tucks another blanket around her. "I see the medicine has kicked in. You should try and sleep, ok? I'll be back in the morning. I love you, Lisa." Lisa smiles at him. "Love you too, Ianto. Have fun shagging jack!" Ianto just laughs and kisses her head before turning to leave, and stopping at the door.

"I have an extra suit here. Want me to spend the night?" Lisa smiles softly at him, all joking manner gone. "If you wouldn't mind" Ianto kisses her and strokes her cheek. "I wouldn't mind at all." Ianto lowers Lisa's table so she's lying on her back. He then lowers the table so it's about as high as an average bed before he strips down to his boxers, and lies down on a cot that he's brought in. Ianto covers himself in a blanket and reaches for Lisa's hand before falling asleep. When he wakes up the next morning, their fingers are still intertwined.

~~~~~~~Note~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm going away for a few days soon, and won't have internet. I doubt I'll be able to update again before then, but I promise to write as much as I can while I'm gone.


	17. Suspention

A month later, Ianto is still considering Lisa's request. He glances up at the Captain when he thinks no one is looking, and allows a small smile to cross his normally stony face. Today, Jack caught Ianto staring causing the younger man to blush, and turn away quickly. Jack just laughs as he walks over to Ianto and rests a hand on his lower back. "You know, you look great in that suit. That red tie just makes you look even better." Ianto just smirks. "That's harassment, Sir." Jack rolls his eyes. "What's with all this 'Sir' business? You're too serious Ianto. Please call me Jack like everyone else here." Ianto nods absentmindedly. "As you wish, Sir" This causes Jack sighs to himself. Ianto's going to be a hard shell to crack, but oh so worth it.

The next week is when the team finds Lisa, and everything changes the next day when Ianto comes in. Ianto finds more trash lying around than before, and he's had enough. Ianto looks up to catch Jack's eyes and complain, but the dark look Jack shoots him before turning away is enough to silence him. Ianto walks down to the medical Bay. "What is this?" He slams the rubbish bag down onto Owen's table angrily. Owen just looks up at him. "It's a bag of rubbish being thrown around by a sniveling little dick." Ianto glares at Owen. "I'm not your fucking slave, Owen! Clean up your own damn rubbish. I don't need to stay here and be forced to clean up after all of you. I could just quit, and walk out the doors right now and it wouldn't make a fucking difference to any of you!"

From the top of the stairs, Jack looks down at him as he grips onto the banister. "Fine, if you want to leave, I'm retconing you and removing anything that might bring back memories." Ianto scoffs up at him. "So I lose about two months of memories." Jack chuckles darkly and starts slowly walking to Ianto. "No, I'm afraid not. If you leave and walk out of these doors, you lose all of your memories of Torchwood. That includes Torchwood One as well. You wouldn't remember Lisa, and I would remove all pictures of her you have, and any other of her belongings. It would be like she never even existed." Jack is standing right in front of Ianto now, staring him down. "You want to leave? Fine, you can leave. Just know that you are the only thing keeping Lisa alive right now. If you leave us, she dies completely. If you want to keep her alive in your memories, then stay here and help us!" Jack pulls a bottle of retcon out of his pocket. "So what will it be? Retcon or you sucking it up and dealing with your problems like a good little boy?" Ianto looks up at the bottle of retcon, and then to jack's face. Seeing that he's completely serious, Ianto looks down at the ground and speaks quietly. "I'll stay." Jack just nods and puts the bottle back in his pocket. "Good choice. You're on suspension for two weeks. I don't want you coming here. Go home, and rest. Think about what's happened. You are not to come anywhere near here for the next two weeks. Do you understand Ianto?" He nods, and Jack hands him the bag of rubbish. "Take this out on your way." Ianto nods and grabs his coat and bag before leaving the hub.

As soon as Ianto is in his car, he breaks and starts crying. He is gripping the steering wheel tightly in both hands as he rests his head on his arms and cries. Inside the hub, Jack almost feels sorry for the amount of pain Ianto is in. Almost, but not enough to do anything, Ianto brought this on himself. When Ianto finally composes himself, he starts the drive back to his flat. Once he arrives, Jack smiles lightly in approval as he had set up cameras by Ianto's flat to verify he did go home. As much as he tried to convince himself he just wanted to make sure Ianto obeyed him, there was a small part of Jack that always reminded him that he also wanted to make sure Ianto was safe and happy.

Ianto's flat is much how he keeps the hub. It is clean, and everything is put away in its spot. Ianto goes to the fridge and grabs a beer before sitting on the couch and opening it as he turns on the TV. By his third beer, Ianto is crying. He lies on the couch with his feet pulled up and holds a pillow to his chest as he cries. How could be so stupid? He knew Lisa was gone, kind, gentle Lisa who would never hurt anyone. He knew he couldn't save her, yet he held onto the blind faith that there was even a small glimmer of hope that he could. What would Lisa think, if she had seen him risk four other people's lives to try and save someone that they all knew there was no chance of saving? He cries harder as he thinks of her. It's a combination of guilt, and self-pity.

Finally Ianto decides to make his way to bed. He glances at the clock. It's barely three pm. He goes to the bathroom and looks for his sleeping pills. Finding them quickly, he takes three before lying in bed. His eyes feel heavy, but his mind is busy. Eventually, he drifts off to sleep. He wakes the next morning after a dreamless sleep, the sleeping pills having done their job. Ianto heads to the kitchen, and opens a beer before returning to the couch and drinking it in the same position he had sat in the night before with his feet on the couch, curled close to him. He glances at the empty beer cans he has sitting around him.

By the last day of Ianto's suspension, his spot on the couch has become surrounded by beer cans. His hair is messy, and he has only changed his clothes twice since being put on suspension. Ianto has reached the point where he's stopped crying, and is just numb over everything that has happened. He glances around the now messy living room. There is a small pathway from his place on the couch to the bathroom, and another to the kitchen for more beer, along with a large stain on the carpet from where one spilt. The can is still sitting in the spot it landed, completely untouched. The food in Ianto's fridge has started to mold, and there is an empty packet of sleeping pills at his spot on the couch, as well as by his bed. The bathroom reeks of vomit from the times Ianto has had to rush in as his stomach fights the constant intake of alcohol, and no food. Ianto lays on the couch napping. He is awoken by a knock on the door. As he sits up to yell at them to go away, he sees the outline of Jack's billowing coat through the window. Bloody brilliant.


	18. Jack

Ianto turns away from the door, and ignores the shadowy figure that is standing there. After the second nock, he sees Jack turn away slightly. Good, he might be leaving. Ianto turns away from the door to finish the beer in his hand. It wasn't until he heard a key rattling that he turned back to the door. When Jack opens the door, and steps inside, he instantly recoils and covers his nose and mouth as he starts gagging at the smell. "Get the fuck out of here Harkness!" Ianto growls at him. Jack holds up his hands. "Calm down, Ianto. I just came to make sure you were ok. By the looks of everything, I got here at a good time. Have you even showered, or done any laundry?"

Jack looks at Ianto who turns and crosses his arms over his chest defiantly. Jack sighs. "Have you been sober at all since you started your suspension?" Ianto just glares at him before nodding coolly. "I have. How did you get in here?" Jack holds up his set of keys as he runs his fingers through his hair. "You all had to give me a key to your place for emergencies. I'm going to help you." Ianto turns to him. "I don't need your bloody help" he spits out venomously. Jack looks at all the cans everywhere. "Based on the smell, you do. Let me take care of this mess. "Go shower." Ianto scoffs at him. "You can't order me what to do, Jack." Jack turns to Ianto and snaps at him "I can only care about you when you're at work risking everyone's life for your cyber girlfriend?"

Ianto turns angrily and mutters "She wasn't just my girlfriend." "What," Jack asks impatiently. "She wasn't just my girlfriend, Jack." Jack rolls his eyes lightly "Fiancé then." Ianto turns to Jack and shouts at him. "She was pregnant, Jack! I was going to be a father!" As soon as the words are out of Ianto's mouth, he starts crying freely, a combination of pent up emotions, and drunken rage. "Oh Shit, Ianto, I'm so sorry." Ianto makes no move to wipe the tears that flow heavily down his cheeks. Jack walks to him, and pulls the distraught man into his arms. Ianto instantly buries his face into Jack's chest as he shakes. Jack holds onto him tightly as he rubs Ianto's back. "I didn't know." They stay like this until Jack hears Ianto sniffle, and knows he's stopped crying. As soon as Jack lets go of Ianto, the younger man's knees shake, and starts to fall over. Jack instantly catches him and helps hold him up. "Come on. You need a shower, and then some sleep. Tomorrow, you're going to sober up, and I'll clean up the cans. Sound ok?" Ianto nods, so Jack leads him to the bathroom.

"Can you stand now?" Jack lets go of Ianto slightly, and again he starts to topple. This time as he falls, Ianto reaches out and clings to Jack. Jack chuckles and holds Ianto up as he slowly undresses him causing the younger man to flush a brilliant shade of red. Jack chuckles and helps hold Ianto up as he strips himself. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You're gorgeous." Jack turns on the water, and after making sure it's an acceptable temperature, he helps Ianto in.

As soon as the warm water hits him, Ianto moans softly and presses closer to Jack as his knees shake. "Feels good" he mumbles causing Jack to chuckle. As Jack holds Ianto to him with one arm, he grabs the shampoo with the other, and squirts some out. He then proceeds to carefully wash Ianto's hair with it before rinsing it away, making sure to not get any into Ianto's eye. Next, Jack grabs a wash cloth and gets some body wash on it before he carefully starts with Ianto's face, and works his way down. Ianto shivers lightly, and presses closer as Jack starts to work all the tense muscles out of Ianto's neck and shoulders. When Jack starts on Ianto's chest, he allows his thumb to flick lightly over one nipple causing Ianto to gasp, and stare deep into his eyes. Jack just smiles and continues cleaning until he gets to Ianto's waist. Jack cleans the sensitive skin that covers Ianto's hip bones before his hands dip even lower, and clean first one leg, and then the other. Ianto huffs at Jack as he skips his groin, and Jack laughs. "Not yet. Ianto sighs and nods before Jack takes him into his hand and gently cleans him causing Ianto to shiver lightly. Jack rinses Ianto thoroughly and then proceeds to wash himself. After he's clean, Jack turns off the water, and dries them both in a towel before helping Ianto to bed.

"Lie down and sleep, Ianto. You need to sleep off all this alcohol." Ianto looks up at Jack, terrified. "I don't want to sleep. That's when the nightmares come. Stay with me please?" Jack's heart breaks at the sight of the young man lying there. He was shaking lightly, and looking up at Jack desperately. He looked so young, and oh so beautiful. Jack lies down and pulls Ianto into his arms. He feels the younger man tense, before relaxing into the embrace, proving Jack's theory that Ianto wanted him as well.

Before he can stop himself, and if he's perfectly honest, Jack can't think of a reason why he should stop himself; his lips are on Ianto's. Ianto's eyes widen as he feels Jack's tongue tease over his lips. Ianto instinctively opens his mouth for Jack, and experimentally presses his tongue back against Jack's. Jack groans into the kiss and moves until he is lying on top of Ianto. Jack reaches down and grasps Ianto's crotch suddenly causing the younger man's hips to jerk closer to the hand as Jack leans down and asks quietly. "Have you ever been with a man, before?" Ianto starts to nod, and then quickly shakes his head as he presses closer to Jack "No, never." Jack dismisses the slight nod as a misunderstanding due to the alcohol and grins as he kisses Ianto again. "We can change that." Ianto nods enthusiastically as Jack grinds their hips together sending a bold of electricity through both men. Jack stares down into Ianto's eyes and sees them full of lust, anticipation, pain, and almost Jack thinks to himself, love.

Jack leans down and kisses Ianto softly before pulling away suddenly. "Shit" he mutters as he pulls away. "Ianto, I'm sorry. I can't." Ianto sits up looking hurt. "Not after what you told me today. You're still drunk. You need to be sober, and then if you still want me, you can have me, but not now. Not today. I can't do that to you." Ianto nods. "Whatever you think is best, Jack." Jack chuckles as he sees Ianto's eyes are half closes, and his words are slightly slurred. Jack lies back down beside Ianto. "I'll stay until you fall asleep, ok?" Ianto nods sleepily and turns towards Jack who proceeds to wrap Ianto in his arms protectively and closing his eyes. "Go to sleep. Sober up. You'll have a killer hang-over tomorrow when the alcohol has worn off. Tomorrow, I'll help with the hangover, and clean, and you need to eat something, ok?"

When Ianto doesn't respond, Jack opens his eyes to see Ianto has fallen asleep in his arms, his steady even breath on Jack's chest. Jack smiles at Ianto and kisses his head softly before speaking quietly to himself. "I hope you still like me when you're sober. I'm a pretty terrible person to love. Why did it have to be you, Ianto? What's so special about you that you can make me fall for you, after nearly killing us all?" Jack sighs to himself as he closes his eyes again, and allows Ianto's even breaths to lull him to sleep.


	19. The Next Morning

**Warning: Rating has gone up in this chapter for attempted smut. If you don't want to read it, I'll have these things ~~~ before, and after it so you know where to stop reading. **

Jack awakes the next morning to a loud groan, and Ianto turning heavily in his arms. Instantly, Jack jumps out of bed, and throws a bowl to Ianto, and gets the pills and water he left on the nightstand. Only when Jack is sure Ianto isn't about to vomit does he press the two pills into one of Ianto's hand, and the water into the other hand. "Take those" Jack requests firmly. Ianto sits up slightly and takes the pills with his eyes still closed. As soon as Ianto starts to relax, Jack asks quietly "What do you remember from last night?" Ianto rubs at his forehead before running his hand through his hair keeping his eyes closed. "I remember being angry at you, and then crying. I had a shower, and then, I was in bed" Ianto opens his eyes. "Oh god, you're naked! Did we…" Ianto lets the unspoken words hand in the air. Jack looks to the younger man and sees pain, and distraught. Bugger. Jack shakes his head. "We did not. There was some kissing, and you said you wanted to, but I wanted you to be sober first."

When Jack looks back at Ianto, he sees the younger man curled there not meeting his eyes. Jack sits down beside Ianto. "What is it, Ianto?" Ianto sighs. "I feel like I'm betraying Lisa." Jack nods. "That's another reason I stopped. I'm not going to push you, Ianto." Ianto waves Jack off. "You don't understand, Jack. I wanted you even when Lisa was still here, and she wanted me to sleep with you, so I could give her all the details, and she would know if the rumors are true or not." Jack just blinks at Ianto. "She wanted you to shag me?" Ianto shakes his head. "No, she wanted you to shag me." Jack laughs "I like the way her mind worked." Jack rests a hand on Ianto's shoulder. "It's not her choice to make though. If we ever do, it has to be because you want to, and for no other reason, ok?" Ianto nods. "I want to." His voice is so small that Jack is convinced Ianto didn't speak at all. "Did you say something?" Ianto takes a deep breath and nods. "I want to, Jack."

Jack grins down at him, and kisses Ianto deeply causing the younger man to groan into the kiss. Jack pulls back and looks into his eyes. "Are you sure?" Ianto nods. "I'm just a bit nervous." Jack looks down at Ianto. "I won't do anything you don't want me to, and you can stop me anytime, ok?" Ianto nods and Jack slowly lays him back onto the bed kissing down his body and nipping where he wanted. When Jack reaches Ianto's waist, he holds his hips down and quickly takes Ianto into his mouth which causes Ianto's hips to jerk at the sudden sensation as he cries out. Jack chuckles and strokes the tender skin with his hands as his head bobs up and down and he swallows repeatedly around the other man.

Ianto groans loudly as Jack's tongue dips into all the creases and explores every ridge before it flattens against the vein on the underside. Ianto throws his head back and moans "God Jack! Not going to last if you do that." Jack just grins and teases the slit which causes Ianto to hiss before Jack swallows him down completely again. Ianto whimpers lightly as his hips start jerking, and Jack swallows harder. All too soon for his liking, Ianto is coming thickly down Jack's throat. Jack grins around Ianto as he swallows gratefully and then slides up the bed to take Ianto into his arms. Jack leans down and kisses Ianto softly letting him taste himself. Ianto pulls back from the kiss unaccustomed to the taste.

Jack looks down at him. "Do you want to continue?" Ianto nods and jack instantly is kissing and licking at his throat causing Ianto to moan softly and relax. Jack goes to his coat pocket and comes back with a packet of lube, and a condom. "How do you want to face? On your hands and knees is often a good place to start." Ianto shakes his head. "I need to see you." Jack nods. "Do you want to ride me so you can control the speed?" Ianto shakes his head, and Jack can see how terrified he is. "It's ok, Ianto. I won't do anything you don't want me to do. I'll stop as soon as you want me to, ok?" Ianto nods.

Jack quickly slides on the condom before lying back down, and raising one of Ianto's legs. "I'm going to get you ready first, ok?" Ianto nods and wraps his arms around Jack's neck. Jack expertly coats his hand in lube, and gently brushes one finger across Ianto's puckered hole. Ianto jumps at the unexpected contact and looks into Jack's eyes nervously. Jack smiles softly and kisses the nerves from him as he wraps his free arm around Ianto's back. "It's just my finger. I have to get you ready. Focus on my face, ok?" Ianto nods and jack kisses him. Ianto feels a sudden surge of bravery and deepens the kiss, much to Jack's pleasure before he feels Jack's finger slowly breach him. Ianto gasps and looks at Jack; his eyes blown wide with lust, and need. Jack kisses Ianto's mouth and jaw line. "Relax, Ianto. I have you. You're ok." Ianto feels another finger slowly push into him, and he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as he fights to keep from tightening around Jack's fingers. "Jack, it hurts."

Jack rubs at Ianto's back softly. "I know. Relax, and it gets better. I promise." Ianto nods and he feels Jack's fingers slowly pull out before pushing back in. Ianto takes a deep breath. "Jack…" Jack nods. "I know, Ianto. Do you want to stop?" Ianto shakes his head, so Jack continues searching for his prostate to help the younger man relax. On the third thrust of his fingers, Jack finds it. He grins down at Ianto who gasps, and stares up at him. "I take it you liked that?" Ianto nods rapidly, and Jack chuckles before rubbing at it with his fingers. Ianto groans deep in his chest "Jack, 'M ready. Please." Jack shakes his head. "Not yet. One more finger." A loud groan of impatience from Ianto turns into a whimper of pain as Jack enters a third finger. Ianto's eyes screw shut, and Jack instantly stops moving his hand as he starts kissing all over Ianto's face, trying to help him relax.

Slowly, he relaxes, and nods up to Jack. Jack works Ianto with his fingers for a few minutes before slowly pulling them out causing Ianto to whimper. "Jack." Jack kisses Ianto's throat as he covers himself in lubricant. "I'm right here, Ianto. Take a deep breath." Ianto looks up at Jack, and takes a deep breath. As Ianto breaths in, Jack slowly presses the head into Ianto's tight passage causing him to inhale sharply, and tighten around Jack as his face screws up tightly in pain. Jack instantly stops, and holds Ianto close to him as he kisses Ianto. Ianto slowly relaxes, and allows Jack to press the rest of the way in.

When jack is fully settles, he looks down. "How are you feeling, Ianto?" Ianto with his eyes still clamped shut whimpers lightly. "Tad" Jack looks down concerned at Ianto. "You're feeling bad?" Ianto shakes his head to clear away the memories that have started over taking his mind. "It's Welsh. I'm ok Jack." Jack smiles down at Ianto and kisses him softly as he wraps Ianto's legs around him and starts slowly moving. Jack grins seeing all the emotions in his eyes. "You're so beautiful, Ianto." Ianto closes his eyes tightly and whimpers again as Jack reaches down and slowly strokes him in time with his thrusts.

After only a few minutes, Ianto is panting and pressing back against Jack "Oh God, Jack! I'm so close!" Jack angles himself to hit Ianto's prostate harder as he continues stroking. "Come for me" Jack growls in Ianto's ear. That's all it takes before Ianto is crying out loudly, and tightening around Jack as he comes. Jack kisses Ianto's neck and groans as he comes shortly after Ianto. Jack slowly pulls himself out of Ianto, which causes the younger man to whimper as his muscles clench desperately. Jack ties off the condom and throws it away before lying down and pulling Ianto to him.

Ianto curls close to Jack as his breathing slowly returns to normal. Jack brushes Ianto's sweaty hair out of his face as he kisses Ianto's flushed cheek. "What did you think?" Ianto rests his head on Jack's chest. "Was nice." Jack laughs as Ianto sounds to be falling asleep again already. Ianto looks up at Jack, with his eyes heavy with sleep. "What does this mean for us, Jack? My boss just shagged me. That's definitely harassment." Jack just laughs. "Not harassment if you initiate it, Ianto. It means whatever you want it to. If you want us to be together, fine. If this was a one off, that's fine too. It's up to you." Ianto smiles slightly at Jack. "I think I want us. Is that wrong? It's so soon after Lisa…" Jack holds onto Ianto. "Yes, it's soon, but only you know if it's too soon. If you want us, that's ok. Lisa's been gone for a few months now, Ianto." He nods, and rests his head on Jack's chest. "I want us." Jack smiles and strokes Ianto's hair.

They lie together for a few minutes before jack speaks up. "Hey Ianto, can I ask you something?" Ianto nods. "Earlier, you said something in Welsh, and I thought you said 'bad.' What did you really say?" Ianto instantly tenses, and Jack senses the change. "I can't make you tell me, and if it was something bad, I won't be angry. If you're going to be telling me things in Welsh in bed, I'd like to know what you're saying in case you need me to stop." Jack rubs Ianto's back lightly and Ianto sighs. I said 'Tad.' It translates to dad." Ianto presses his face to Jack's neck unable to look at him. Jack looks down confused. "Is that what you're into, Ianto? If you are, it's ok, just unexpected…"

Ianto quickly shakes his head. "When I was little…. I was almost eight when my Mam died. The change in my Tad was almost immediate. When my family gets drunk, they tend to be angry, and violent. Tad was spending every day at the bar drinking. My sister was watching me one night. We put in the movie 'Cats' to watch. Tad came home, and saw Rhi and me watching it. He freaked out. He was drunk, and angry. He was convinced that the movie would make me gay." A quiet noise escapes Ianto's lips as he presses closer to Jack. "He wanted to show me what happened to Gay boys. I'm really sorry, Jack. I just started having a flashback, and all I could see was Tad's face as he threw me onto the bed." Ianto turns away from Jack, who quickly pulls him back into his arms.

"So when I asked if you'd ever done that before, and you started to nod," Ianto doesn't even let Jack finish before he nods embarrassedly. "I couldn't say it. I know I lied. I'm sorry jack, I just…. I wanted to keep the memories away." Jack wipes Ianto's eyes lightly. "That's something I needed to know, Ianto. I understand why you didn't want to tell me, but with the flashbacks, or anything else that might have happened, I would have needed to know that. If you had an anxiety attack, I would have had to know why so I could help you. Promise me that we won't have any more secrets?" Ianto nods. " 'M sorry Jack." Jack shakes his head. "No more secrets, Ianto. I'll forgive it this time. Let me help you, ok?" Ianto nods and falls asleep in jack's arms. His dreams are filled with the happy times with his Mam when he was small, and life was good.


	20. The Morning After

The next morning, Jack wakes up to a strange sniffling sound. He looks around before looking down at the young man in his arms. It is only then that he realizes Ianto is crying. "Ianto, are you ok? We rushed last night, and shouldn't have. I'm sorry. We can take this slow now. I didn't want you to have regrets." The younger man sniffles and rolls in Jack's arms. "It's ok. I just had an emotional dream. Some days, the pain of losing Mam still gets to be too much. She passed away eleven years ago, but I still miss her." Jack nods. "You always will, Ianto. There will always be a piece of your heart that aches every time you think of her, or hear anything about her, but there will also always be a piece of your heart that makes you feel good when you hear about her. There will be a piece that swells with pride because she was your mom."

Ianto sniffles and Jack pulls him into his arms and rubs his back. He smiles softly as Ianto doesn't fight the touch, and presses his face to Jack's neck. As he runs his fingers through Ianto's hair softly, he speaks softly. "I want to talk to you about what you told me last night." Ianto tenses "I don't want to talk about it." Jack sighs softly as he tries to reassure the young man in his arms. "I know you don't, but we need to. Please? I'm right here." He runs his fingers lightly over Ianto's back, and feels the younger man nod hesitantly. "What do you want to know?" Jack holds Ianto tighter and speaks calmly. "I want to know what he did to you so I know how to help you."

Ianto takes a shuddery breath as he holds onto Jack. "He used to hit me for anything. There were some days I wasn't allowed to eat, and then at nights, he'd come home from the bar. I had to lie on the bed, and stay quiet while he used me." Jack feels a damp patch on his shoulder, and realizes that Ianto has started crying again. He holds the young man reassuringly and kisses his head softly. "What else happened?" Ianto looks down. "He broke my leg once at the park. He made it look like an accident, but when I looked up, he shook his head lightly, and I knew it was on purpose. We went to A&E, and they put a cast on my leg, and gave me crutches. A week in, Tad hid my crutches and made me walk without them. When he took me in to get it off, they saw it hadn't healed fully. They said they'd have to operate to fix it. They wanted to re-break my leg, and then fix it properly. Tad said no, and we left. It's healed ok now. I just have a bump on my leg." Ianto shows Jack the spot on his leg, and the older man's jaw drops.

"He really did that to you?" Ianto nods, and holds Jack. "He scares me." Jack kisses him softly, and rubs his back softly. "Don't worry Yan. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore. What I want you to do now, is tell me how you think of yourself." Ianto looks up at Jack strangely "Really?" Jack nods. Sighing, Ianto turns away from him. "I don't know what you want me to say, Jack." Jack holds a small mirror in front of Ianto so he can see his red eyes and the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. His face is a pale red from where he's been crying, and there is a faint indent on a cheek from resting his head on Jack's shoulder. His hand lightly goes to his face as Jack speaks up "And no lying. I want to know what you actually think of yourself."

Closing his eyes, he turns angrily from the mirror. "I hate myself." Pulling the younger man to his arms, and strokes his hair softly encouraging the younger man to continue and get everything out that he needs to. Taking a shuddery breath, he continues. "My fiancé was half robot, I snuck her into work to try and save her life only to have her kill innocent people. I'm depressed. I've been broken, and abused all my life. I repulse myself. I can't stand what I see in the mirror. I'm not good enough, and never will be. I learned to cope with pain. I used to cut, and burn myself. I would refuse to eat, or force myself to be sick. Anything I could do to hurt myself, to feel the sting of the thin slice when you drag a blade across your skin. Feel the blood pool up, and then spill over the edge. That beautiful torture helped me through so much, but made me feel like shit. My Tad was a drunk, and I can't stand him. Here I am at home acting like him. I'm disgusting, Jack!"

When Ianto stops ranting, He realizes Jack is rocking them softly. "Thank you for telling me. Now, yes you brought the cyber woman in, but she wasn't Lisa anymore. You know that. You also know I don't blame you for what happened. As for being depressed, we can work on that." He hugs Ianto before continuing. "Broken? I don't think so. Yes you went through what no one should ever have to, but you're alive now. You have a job, and can take care of yourself. You are independent. One thing you are not is broken. You may not feel like you're good enough, but to me you're more than perfect, Ianto Jones. I don't see you acting like your dad. I see a young man who's feeling lost and alone. The self-harm and eating disorders are worrisome, but we can work past them together, if you let me.

He nods, as his stomach growls lightly. Jack chuckles. "Come on. Let's go eat, ok? You need to eat lunch. I'll stay with you." He reaches out and takes Ianto's hand before helping him up. "Do you want Macaroni and cheese?" Ianto shakes his head. "I don't trust you to cook. The last time you made Macaroni and Cheese for us at work, you put hot dog slices and peas in it!" Jack sulks. "I thought it would be good." A look of disgust crosses Ianto's face. "Did you just throw three foods you like together?" Ianto looks up, and his jaw drops as he sees Jack scuff his shoe on the ground, unable to meet his eyes. "You did, didn't you?" He nods slightly, and Ianto rolls his eyes. "Well, thank you for offering to cook for me, but no thank you." He goes into the kitchen and looks before warming up some stew, and serving it. He sets a pack of crackers out before having Jack a bowl, and taking s serving about half the size of Jack's for himself.

As they eat, Jack strokes Ianto's hand with his thumb softly. "You're perfect to me, Ianto. Just the way you are. I wouldn't change anything about you, and I don't want you to ever doubt yourself. You're kind, caring, and absolutely wonderful. You deserve to be happy, and if you let me, I'd like to help you." Ianto frowns softly "Why me? You're my boss." Jack strokes his hand softly. "Yes, but I can be more than your boss. You said before that you wanted us. We can be together, and I'll try to help you the best that I can. You shouldn't have to live in fear Ianto, and you certainly shouldn't hate yourself. What do you say?" Ianto smiles and kisses Jack softly. "Thank you."


	21. The Fight

The problems in Jack and Ianto's relationship start about three months later, when they are once again in bed together. Jack is kneeling behind Ianto who has his head and chest shoved brutally down towards the bed and his hips raised. Jack has one hand pushing Ianto's chest harder into the pillows and the other gripping onto his hip hard enough to leave bruises. Ianto gasps and whimpers as he gets close. "Jack" Jack growls and smacks his hip. "I said no talking." Jack continues his brutal pace, and soon Ianto is coming all over the bed. The tight heat becomes too much for Jack who comes with a loud cry "Doctor!"

It isn't until Ianto comes down from his high that he turns to Jack. "What did you call out?" Jack lays down beside him "Your name, same as always." Ianto frowns. "No, you said 'Doctor.' You were thinking about him, when we were in bed together weren't you?" Jack frowns and pulls the younger man to him. "I was not. My thoughts were on you Joh… Ianto" Jack covers his mistake with a cough hoping Ianto didn't notice it. One look at the younger man's face was enough to confirm that he had caught what Jack was going to say. "Do you even know who I am, anymore Jack?" Ianto grabs some sweat pants and throws them on before storming out of Jack's room. Much to his displeasure, Jack followed him. "Ok, I'm sorry, Ianto. Yes. I was thinking about The Doctor, and I shouldn't have been. I was in bed with you. I love you, Ianto. Come back to bed?" Ianto glances at Jack. "I'm not tired. You can go. I'll sit here." Ianto sits himself by the window. Jack cans see the frosty expression in the reflection, so he gives up, and goes back to bed hoping he can fix this in the morning.

The next morning, Ianto is his usually sharp dresses shelf, with no signs of his anger from the previous night. In fact, the only sign that something had happened was in the slight coloration around Ianto's eyes that suggested he hadn't gotten enough sleep. Jack watches Ianto closely as he passes out coffee. He seems like his usual, cheerful self which is good. Jack counts the mugs. Ianto was still bringing him coffee. Very good. Ianto slowly makes his way up to jack's office and nocks. "Come in" Jack calls as he pretends to be doing paper work, and not judging his chances of getting Ianto back into bed with him. Ianto opens the door, and walks in. "I've brought you your coffee, Jack." Jack smiles up at him. "You're too kind, Ianto." Jack reaches out for his cup, and takes a large mouthful. Ianto instantly stands back, and moves out of the way as Jack instantly spits the coffee out. "What the hell was that?" "That was coffee, Jack." Jack shakes his head "No way. That was decaf!" Ianto nods. "I figured since you have a habit of saying one thing, when you really mean the opposite, like how you said you loved me. I figured I'd save my time, and just do the opposite of what you said." Jack points to the door. "Get out, now." Ianto turns and walks out the door before burying himself in the archives.

When it is time for his next coffee rounds, Ianto comes up and gathers everyone's cups except Jack's to refill them with coffee. Ianto grabs a new cup for Jack, and once again fills it with decaf coffee. Ianto smiles as he passes out the coffee. When he gets to Tosh's station, she turns to face him. "Are you alright, Ianto?" He nods. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?" "You seem tired, and you're all tense." Ianto smiles down and pats her hand lightly. "I'm fine Tosh. Thank you." She grips his hand and looks up at him "If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you." Smiling, Ianto speaks softly. "Thank you." He turns to take jack his coffee.

Ianto lightly knocks before carrying in Jack's mug. Ianto is pleased to see that Jack has drunken most of his last mug. Handing it to Jack, Ianto steps back as Jack doesn't respond, unsure of what his reaction will be to another mug of decaf. Jack reaches out and takes the cup. He takes only a small sip before he stands up still holding the mug, and motions for Ianto to follow him. Ianto hesitantly obliges and follows Jack to the bathroom that is connected to his office. Jack steps inside, and looking straight into Ianto's eyes, pours the rest of the coffee straight down the drain. Ianto's eyes widen, and his jaw sets tightly as his teeth clench as he watches Jack. Without saying anything, Jack sets down the mug causing the sound to echo through the hub. Jack turns angrily without saying anything, and walks straight out of Jack's office.

As soon as Ianto leaves Jack's office, he feels himself walk into something, and hears someone reach desperately for the metal banister. Reaching down, Ianto sees that he's knocked Tosh over. "Sorry Tosh, I wasn't looking where I was going." From her place on the floor, Tosh smiles up at Ianto. "I noticed" she says as she stands up. "You seemed angry. I just came to make sure you were alright." Ianto forces himself to relax, and puts on a fake smile. "I'm fine, Tosh. Thank you for asking." Before Ianto knows what's happening, he feels Tosh wrap her arms around him, and he almost breaks. Still, he manages to hold his emotions together. "I hope you know that I care about you Ianto." He nods and speaks quietly. "I know." Tosh looks up at him knowingly. "Come with me. There's ice cream in the freezer, and I think you could use some. Ianto follows Tosh quietly to the kitchen area.

As they sit down, each with a bowl of cookie dough ice cream served by Tosh, she looks up at Ianto. "What happened?" The voice she uses is full of genuine concern, and that's all it takes before Ianto is crying. Tosh instantly presses some napkins into his hand to use as tissues. "I don't know what to do anymore, Tosh." Tosh sits there looking concerned as she takes Ianto's hand. "What happened?" Ianto takes a deep breath and looks up at Tosh. "You know how Jack and I are together, right?" Tosh nods, so Ianto continues. "Well, we were in bed one night, and he called out someone else's name." Ianto looks up to see how Tosh will react, and she is sitting there quietly looking concerned. "What did you do, Ianto?" "I confronted him about it, and then he almost called me John, before he switched to my name." "Oh Ianto" Tosh sighs lightly. "I'm so sorry." "What do I do, Tosh?" Tosh frowns. "Do you love him?" Ianto nods "I do, but I don't know how much longer I can put with this." Glancing at Tosh, Ianto sees her nod. "I fully understand. Maybe… maybe you should give him some room for a while, and let yo u both calm down, to see where this relationship goes?" Ianto nods. "That sounds like a good idea. You think if I don't go straight back to bed, and I let him cool off, it'll work?" Tosh shrugs lightly. "I don't know. It's up to you, Ianto." Ianto nods. "I guess I'll try that, and see what happens. Thank you Tosh." Ianto pulls the petite woman into a hug as he calms down himself. Tosh pulls back and smiles up at Ianto. "Feel any better?" Ianto nods. "I do, actually. Thank you again, Tosh." Tosh nods and leaves to go back to work.

Looking around the kitchen, Ianto sees heir bowls of melted ice cream, which neither of them had touched. Ianto takes care of the dishes before turning his attention to the coffee pot. It was in need of a thorough cleaning, and Ianto couldn't think of a better way to rid himself of his stress. Ianto begins to slowly clean his coffee machine, and make sure it is assembled properly. Glancing at the time, he decides that it is time for another coffee round. After brewing a pot of his coffee, Ianto fills four cups of coffee making each one to its owners preferred tastes. When Ianto is satisfied that all four of the coffees are perfect, he distributes them around the Hub. For this coffee run, and all the rest of the day, Ianto didn't bother bringing Jack any coffee.


	22. Problems

A week later, Jack smiles as Ianto brings him his coffee. Ianto had started bringing him his usual coffee only the day before. The first time Ianto brought him a cup of coffee, Jack immediately inhales the rich aroma of perfectly roasted and ground beans. When he takes his first sip of the rich dark liquid, his eyes close and he moans as the liquid coats his tongue, and warms his insides. Jack assumes Ianto has forgiven him, and things were getting better again. Maybe he could even get Ianto back into bed with him, if he behaved. Jack sulks. He hates having to wait, but the look in Ianto's eyes tell him it will be well worth it.

When Ianto walks into Jack's office and sets down his coffee, Jack nods towards the chair in front of his desk. "Why don't you sit down, Ianto?" The young man looks at Jack questioningly before sitting himself down in the small chair. Taking a sip of the coffee, Jack sighs happily. Having been deprived of it for so long had taken a toll on him. He sips slowly trying to get his body re-accustomed to the wonderful feeling of caffeine before looking up. "How are you, Ianto?" He looks down at his hands. "I'm fine, Sir." Shaking his head, Jack sighs. "I know you aren't, and I can't blame you." He walks around until he's behind Ianto and gently rests a hand on his shoulder. The young Welsh Man relaxes slightly into the touch. "That really hurt, Jack" He stands up to look at his boss and before he knows what's happening, Jack is pulling him into a tight embrace. Ianto wraps his arms around Jack, and rests his head on his neck. Slowly, Jack rocks them side to side as he holds Ianto close and rubs the younger man's back softly, his hand dipping lower on each rub.

Feeling the hand dip even lower, Ianto begins to shift slightly. Suddenly, Jack's lips are on his; his tongue slowly teasing Ianto's mouth open. Ianto's eyes widen as he feels Jack pull them closer together. He tries to pull back, but Jack's strong arm holds him in place, and the man's other hand slowly works down to the front of Ianto's trousers and expertly unfastens them. The younger man struggles, and pulls his head back. "I don't want to, Jack. Not now. I'm not ready for that yet." In response, Jack slips his hand into Ianto's pants and begins to rub him before spinning him quickly and pressing him to the desk. Ianto gasps and tries to get away. "Don't do this, Jack! I don't want it" The older man presses himself flush against Ianto's back, and grinds softly against him. "Admit that you want it, Ianto. I know you do." Ianto lowers his head, and lets out a choked sob as he tries to get away. His mind goes back to when he was young. He feels so lost, and helpless. Jack kisses his neck as he holds Ianto to the desk.

He begins to pull the young man's trousers down, and changes his stance just slightly. Seizing the opportunity, Ianto wrenches himself from Jack's grip with tears streaming down his face. "How could you?" Ianto's voice is angry, and thick with tears. Jack blinks up at him. "I wanted you to feel good, Ianto. You've seems so stressed, and I wanted to help you relax." Ianto hisses up at Jack "And you thought trying to force me into sex when I'd said no would help? I'm done Jack. I'm done with us and done with you. Don't touch me again." Ianto storms out of Jack's office and goes to the bathroom. When he's there, he sits on the floor by the wall and starts crying. He pulls his knees to his chest, and covers his head as he sobs. He thinks about Jack, and his mam, and tad.

A few minutes after he ran in, Ianto hears the door open. Without looking up, he takes off a shoe and throws it at the source of the noise. "Get out of here Jack!" "Ianto," The voice startles him. Not Jack. Owen. What would Owen be doing in here? Ianto looks up slightly to see Owen holding out his shoe. "I'm not really good at emotions, or dealing with people, but you look like you're upset." The noise Ianto makes is a cross between a choked sob, and a laugh. He wipes his eyes. "I'm ok. You can leave now." He frowns as he sees Owen shake his head. "No can do. I need to make sure you're ok, and haven't been exposed to some poisonous chemical with the way you're eyes are watering.

Ianto groans. "I'm fine. I just left Jack." Looking up at Owen, Ianto sees him raise an eyebrow so he continues. "He called out the wrong names in bed, and then tried to force me back to bed today when I said no." Owen sighs softly and offers a hand to help Ianto up. "Come on." Ianto looks at the hand before slowly standing up. "I'm not sick." "No, but I have alcohol in a cupboard here unless you'd rather sit here and talk about your feelings." Smiling slightly Ianto stands and washes his face to remove the tears, and red patches. "That actually sounds pretty nice. Are you feeling ok?" The medic just looks sympathetic. "I've dumped, and been dumped enough times to know that some alcohol helps."

He leads the younger man to the medical bay, and produces a bottle of alcohol, and two glasses. He smirks as he passes Ianto a glass, and drinks his own down. "Trust me. You're better off without Jack." Ianto sighs softly. "I think I over reacted, but I couldn't stand it anymore." Owen just takes another drink after refilling his glass. "He's an arse. Give yourself some time to cool off, and then find someone else." Ianto sets his glass down carefully beside him. "And who do you recommend?" Owen just laughs. "I'm available." He takes another drink and Ianto smiles slightly. "Yeah right, I'll keep that in mind and get back to you." They both laugh at Owen's statement before Ianto turns back to him. "I'm going to go back to filing in the archives. Thanks for the drink. It helped." He sets the glasses down. "No problem. Feel better." He can't help but watch Ianto as the young heartbroken man leaves to go into the archives, and Owen knows he won't see him the rest of the day.


	23. The mission

Almost a month later Jack is still hiding in his office while trying to be around Ianto as little as possible. 'If he would have just admitted that he wanted it, he wouldn't be angry at me.' Scowling, Jack slams back a shot of whisky, and grimaces at the delicious burn in his throat as the cool amber liquid travels to his stomach. He looks at the bottle, debating on another shot when he glances up to see Ianto resting in his chair with his head on his desk. He looks pale, and feverish. Jack's almost certain that he's sweating, and he's taken his jacket off.

Frowning, Jack walks over to see Ianto. "Are you alright?" Ianto jumps, and turns to face Jack. "I'm fine, Sir. Just a bit tired." Raising one eyebrow, Jack looks at him skeptically. "I want you to go see Owen." Ianto shakes his head. "No need, Sir. I feel fine." Reaching out, Jack grips Ianto by the arm, and doesn't miss the slight wince. "Then you'll have no problem going to see him." "Oi" Jack calls in the direction of the medical bay. "I want you to look at Ianto. He looks sick." Ianto glares at Jack as he stands, and makes his way to the medical bay. "Are you happy now, jack?" He doesn't turn around to see the content smile Jack is wearing, but he can feel it in the back of his neck as he walks.

Owen points towards the table as he hears Ianto walk in. "What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong" Ianto snaps. "I'm just tired." Owen turns quickly and studies his face. "You look awful." Before he can respond, Ianto has a thermometer shoved under his tongue. He glares at Owen who takes it out when it beeps. "40 degrees, Nice try. What else is wrong?" Ianto rolls his eyes. "I'm warm, and tired. Other than that, I feel ok." Owen checks Ianto's blood pressure, and listens to his heart and lungs "Nothing else?" Ianto frowns. "I haven't been very hungry, and I have a constant headache." Owen nods. "Sounds like you have a slight case of the flu." He gives Ianto something to lower his temperature, and then lets him stand up. "If anything changes, come to me, ok?"

Nodding, Ianto slowly stands up to leave. As he passes by Owen, the doctor suddenly steps in front of him, and refuses to let him leave. "Where did you get that large bruise on your arm?" Ianto looks down confused, to see what Owen's talking about. It is only then that he sees a large bruise where Jack grabbed his arm earlier. "Oh I must have hit my arm on something." Looking at the medic confirms that Owen doesn't believe his story. "It looks like a hand, Ianto." The younger man cringes slightly. "Jack grabbed my arm to try to make me come here. He just squeezed a bit harder than he meant to.

Owen glares. "If he ever does that again, you come find me. I won't tolerate him harming you! I'm going to go talk to him right now." Ianto tries to follow Owen, but as soon as they leave the medical bay, the rift alarm goes off. Jack checks the predictor, and nods. "It's small. Owen, Gwen, and Ianto, you three can handle it. Tosh, stay here and feed coordinates." Owen is about to start protesting that Ianto is too sick, but the young man is already grabbing what they'll need, and rushing to the van. Sighing, Owen gives up and follows Ianto.

When they are all in the car, Gwen looks to Ianto. "What are we looking for?" Ianto checks his notes. "Looks like some space junk. It should be pretty basic." Gwen nods, and Owen grips the steering wheel tighter. "It's never basic." Ianto rolls his eyes as he hears Tosh speak to them. "You're close to it. It looks like it landed in the park. Thankfully, there's no one around. No witnesses to retcon." Ianto smiles slightly, and keeps an eye out. His fever has lowered considerably, and he's feeling better.

When they arrive, Ianto is the first out of the van. He kneels, and examines the artifact. Recognizing it, Ianto picks it up with his hand, and sets it in the back. "Just some space junk. It's nothing dangerous." 'He turns as he sees something move to his blind spot. When he looks, he sees a Weevil lurking behind Owen and Tosh. He shouts to warn the others, and he shoots it. Before he can take it down, the Weevil starts running. He chases after it, and hears Owen and Gwen behind him. When he finally has it subdued, he starts coughing so hard he is forced to his knees in the grass. Owen comes over and takes the Weevil. "You alright, mate?" Ianto nods, and coughs harder.

As Ianto coughs, there is a red spray suddenly on the ground. "Oh Shit!" Ianto hears Owen drop to the ground. He is suddenly extremely dizzy. "Ianto, can you hear me?" Ianto tries to respond, but manages only to turn his head, and get sick. When he wipes his mouth, the back of his hand is red with blood. Owen takes one look at the vial substance Ianto had just expelled before he shouts for Gwen to get the weevil in the van.

Ianto feels Owen help lay him back. He closes his eyes and listens as Owen contacts Jack and Tosh over his com. "It's an emergency. Ianto just started coughing, and vomiting up blood. I'm bringing him in. Make sure to have a room ready. He's going to be on bed rest until I figure out what's going on." Ianto squeezes his eyes shut as his breathing becomes fast, and shallow. "Owen" His voice is barely above a broken whisper. He keeps his eyes shut as he feels Owen lift him, and lay him across the back seat in the van. Instantly, a bowl is placed on the floor by his h ad. "If you need it, try and aim for the bowl." Ianto tries to nod as he starts losing sense of everything around him. The last thing he is aware of before passing out is Owen muttering quietly "Hang in there Ianto. You'll be ok."


	24. Visiting Owen

When Ianto wakes up, the first thing he notices is that someone has removed his clothes, and he is lying on a fairly comfortable bed with a blanket pulled up to his chest with his arms on top of it. Based on the uncomfortable twist of fabric around his upper legs, and up to his waist, he assumes that whoever undressed him left his pants on. He silently thanks whoever may have undressed him for giving him that small shred of decency. He opens his eyes to the blinding light of day, and instantly closes them again. After a few seconds, he opens them again slightly to see unfamiliar yellow walls. Ianto's eyes open quickly as he ignores the bright light, and he goes to sit up, being stopped only by a sudden, stinging pain in his arm. He yelps slightly, and instantly, there are large, calming hands helping him lie back. He relaxes slightly at the touch. "Jack." His voice is steady, and there is a faint smile before his memories catch up, and he panics slightly. 'What is Jack doing here? We're done, over. I don't want to see him any more than I have to. It's bad enough that I still work for him. Why was I relieved when I thought he was here with me? Am I really stupid enough to think that he can, or would change for me? Of course not, he's the captain. Mr. "I'll shag anything with a pulse" Harkness. You're better off without him. How could you forget, or even excuse what he did to you? You're better than that. You don't need him.' Ianto's thoughts continue to race, until he hears the person speak.

"You really thought I was Jack? You were just rushed here as an emergency. Who else would bloody be waiting for you to wake up, Myfanwy? Don't try sitting up, Ianto. I put an IV in your arm." Ianto turns his head towards the voice, momentarily confused. "Owen?" When he turns, he can see the medic sitting beside him in a chair. Owen looks slightly irritated, but something in his eyes give way to how concerned he really is. 'Why would Owen be concerned about me? I mean, I know he actually cares more about us than he lets on, but he never shows it. Why would he let me see he was worried? Is it that bad?' "What do you remember, Ianto?" Ianto closes his eyes. "We were getting space junk, and there was a weevil. I felt dizzy, and started coughing." Owen nods. "You started coughing up blood, and then you vomited blood. I have you only on saline and a unit of blood right now." Owen pulls out a sheet. "I'm going to have to run some tests to figure out what's going on. It'll go a bit beyond normal exam, so I need you to sign." Ianto sighs, but quickly signs the form.

Frowning, Owen looks at Ianto, and the younger man quickly averts his eyes. "What are you not telling me, Ianto? I need to know." Turning his head away from Owen, Ianto wipes a tear from his eyes before speaking quietly, trying unsuccessfully to keep the waver out of his voice. "I had leukemia when I was a boy. On my sixth birthday, they found that it was gone." Owen's jaw drops and he gets a pad of paper out. "How did you keep that from us? It wasn't in your chart. What type did you have? Do you remember?" Slowly, Ianto nods. "I… I never told anyone after it went away. I was on so many pills a day. It was miserable. My Mam would bring me a medicine cup filled with them, and I had to take them all. I was constantly in bed. After it went away, I never told anyone. I had Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia" Owen sighs softly and makes some notes before setting down the pad. "That's the most common type. It isn't common for it to come back in adult hood, but it's not unheard of, either. I'm going to do some tests, and ask you some questions." Ianto sighs softly before laying back.

Taking that as permission, Owen goes to the cabinet. He comes back a few minutes later with a tray filled with needles, and syringes. He looks up at Owen, and glances at everything. "You're in for a rough day, Ianto, and I'm sorry. I wouldn't do this if it didn't need done." He ties a tourniquet tightly onto Ianto's arm, and watches as the other man winces. As carefully as he can, Owen slides the needle into a vein in Ianto's arm. Owen draws two vials of blood before pulling the needle out. He looks at the spot to check for bruising and then bandages Ianto's arm. He removes the tourniquet and watches the spot. As he expected, there is a faint bruise across his arm where the tourniquet was just seconds before.

"Easily bruised, Is that how Jack left the hand shaped bruise?" Ianto closes his eyes feeling the darkness set in, almost as if he knows what Owe will say before he nods softly. "He didn't grab me that hard, but firmly. It bruised." Owen nods. "That makes sense. Otherwise, I'd kill him. Do you know how hard it is to leave a bruise like that on someone with normal bruising? So, easily bruised, bone pain, fever, headaches, you look like you've lost weight, and you're always tired. You've got just about all the symptoms." Owen changes his gloves and washes his hands before coming back to Ianto. He feels under Ianto's jaw before instructing him to raise his arms. As soon as Ianto complies, Owen presses gently in his armpits, searching for the small glands there. When he finds them, he feels them gently before allowing him to lower his arms again. He then pulls down the blanket to Ianto's waist which causes the young man to blush brightly and Owen to roll his eyes. "Not like I haven't seen you naked before, Ianto. I am your doctor." Owen rolls his eyes slightly, but doesn't say anything else to the young man. He runs his hands over Ianto's stomach, and presses lightly as he feels for any abnormalities. He checks Ianto's liver, and spleen, noticing the wince of pain from the young patient as his spleen is pressed on. "Swollen spleen, I take that back. You have all the symptoms of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It looks like your cancer's come back."


End file.
